Boobs

Sitting on the couch bored out of my mind, which is how I spend most nights (the CP can verify that), I knew I wanted to write a post, but didn't have anything to write about. That's when I took the time to venture over and read the roast of Tanis.

For anyone who's read her blog for a while, it is quite funny. Her posts are really long. I put down the DH's computer and got in the shower. In the shower it hit me. I need to post about boobs. What else do I have?

Although I read a few mommy blogs, I am not, and possible never will be, a mother. I disowned my red-neck heritage when I finally really left home at 23.

But, boobs? Boobs I have in the bag. I may not have fancy nipple rings, but I think my left breast could encompass all of Tanis' rack. In fact I think boobs are just what this blog needs.

Why should I write about my boobs? Well, first I think it will get me some creepy google action. Secondly, I've had them all of my life. In fact, they officially outgrew my mother's when I was 12. Thirdly, while I don't have hardware, I'm sure there are not a lot of people out there who can play tetris in their clevage.

For some reason, the electrodes they put on my chest left a mark. It's like I went to the tanning bed with them on. The result seems to be permanent. At least they haven't faded since the hospital. I didn't notice them at first, but now they are all I can see. Did I mention that I don't ever remember having electrodes on?

They are not even semetrical. There's two on one side and just one on the other. It woudln't matter except I don't own a turtle neck. In fact most of my shirts are designed to show off the clevage. Every time I look in a mirror, there they are just staring at me. They're not even full squares, but a square with in a square.

The DH think I just need to put a sticker on the center and go to the tanning bed. They do sell stickers there, but they are all shaped like the playboy bunny. So, I guess until I can get some sun this summer, I'll be humming the Tetris song.