Update

Still cleaning. Really. I've been doing laundry for 3 days. The DH and I clearly have way too many clothes. I'd like to donate/purge, but I want to use this summer/fall to figure out what we really wear before I do that.

This clean is taking on a whole new level of urgency. My in-laws are coming in a couple of weeks. The last time they were here, when I was in the hospital, they did a huge clean. I figure I'd better have the place looking great by the time they get here.

Puppy Update:
Puppies are a lot like children they seem so small and then one day you look at them and it's like they've grown twelve feet over night. You can't really tell from the recent pictures, but Moshe's really growing. He's all legs right now. I swear we went to bed one night and he could still fit in the palm of your hand and the next morning he was 3 inches taller.
He is, however, still afraid to go down the stairs by himself. He can get up the stairs no problem, but whenever everyone goes down stairs he just sits at the top and whimpers. I don't get it.

I pity the fool...

If you do not live in the South East, I'm sorry. Really, I've lived many places and they all have their own beauty, but today. Today you should really live down here.
Do you remember Monday? Monday my back yard was a snow filled wonderland.

Today, just four short days later. I'm sitting on the couch with the back door open and my yard looks like a spring time wonderland.
See:


In fact, today is so beautiful that when only 3 of the 6 people who bothered to show up for class on time today had actually read the material I did not yell at them. I rescheduled today's presentation, talked for a bit, and let them all go early...without any snark. Since one of the people who didn't read spent the day looking bored out of her mind and practically asleep I did a really good job of avoiding snark.

To prove I'm still in a good mood, here are some puppy pictures.

Healing...

Moshe's cast came off yesterday. We had to take him back to the vet today for some xrays. They were also concerned that he was not using his leg properly because of nerve damage.

He seems to be using his leg fine now, so I think it was just a matter of not knowing what to do with it. For most the last three weeks of his 12 week existence he's had a cast that was longer than the rest of his legs and weighed as much as he did. It makes sense that it might take a while to get used to not having it.

He's pretty funny limping around, and pretty quick. Watching him randomly stretch his leg straight back or tentatively put it on the ground, makes me think back to my first days learning how to walk again and my first days at home. When I go up and down the stairs now, I forget how hard it was for me at the beginning. All my movements seem normal again, but I remember that first day home and how hard it was to slide across the bed or get up from the couch. Because I didn't need it for that long, sometimes I forget how much I really did need the cane.

I didn't really expect it to happen, but in many ways I've already begun to take my recovery for granted. Even the shower chair in the bathroom just looks like another spot to hang towels or store reading materials.

Is it really done?

It's been a long, exhausting week here on the West Bank. All I can say is that at least Moshe hasn't started building a wall. There is no room here for ghettos. There is no peace yet, but I think there is a mutual cease fire.

Honestly, I cannot explain what exhausted me this week. Nothing much has really happened. I had a couple of extra trips to the health center, but nothing important. Maybe it's just that I haven't had a decent night's sleep since the Saturday before last. Underdeveloped puppy bladders suck. I'm sure the DH has it worse because at 2:00am, I just wake him up and make him trek down the stairs to take the puppy out. Yes, I'm evil like that. I firmly believe it is one of my wifely duties.

At the coffee shop this morning I made good progress on my article. I have some ideas that I think will be interesting. I'm just not sure how it all still has to do with hospitality. I'll figure that out. Don't forget, I'm a rhetorician, I can make it all sound good even if it makes no sense. Well, that is not really true, but good sources help. One of my editors suggested...doesn't that sound cool, I have editors, anyway he suggested I look at Kathleen Jamieson's work. It's really perfect for what I want to write. Woo Hoo!

Did this week wear anyone else out?

Karma

As you probably know, we have an interesting history with animals. Yasser had to have hip surgery on his left leg before his was year old. Malenovka has a chronic respiratory infection and sneezes everywhere. Cat boogers do not come off the wall easily.

What you probably don't know is that last week we did something really, really stupid. We got a puppy.
Isn't he the cutest thing ever?

His name is Moshe. It's a nice Israeli name. We figured it was appropriate. We thought we'd try to make a little peace here on the West Bank. We didn't tell anyone at first because it's that stupid.

Do you think you know where this story is going?
Last night the DH came home from work and took the dogs out to go to the bathroom. On his way back up Yasser tripped him and the puppy jumped from his arms. Moshe now looks like this

Yeah. He broke his leg. We spent most of last night at the emergency vet. Can you see the cast/band that wraps around his belly? They told us we'd might have to move it around so it didn't block his little penis. Well it did block it and we had to hold it back and cut it so that he could pee. We'll have the regular vet fix it today. His poor little penis was all bloated with pee. It was terrible. For now, we're just trying to keep him as immobile as possible. They said it should heal in about 4 weeks.

One is the loneliest number...

We are back down to one dog. It was tough to give Lody back, but we did it. Now we just need a second dog of our own. It's been so good for Yasser. He's much more independent these days. He still wants to be in the same room, but not necessarily right on top of you.

There are still only 5 people registered for my class. I've decided not to worry about it. We'll still discuss the syllabus on the first day and decide what to do about the assignments. I just don't feel like making up alternatives I may never use. Grrr. Arrgh.

Since I will run out of my rat poison before the appointment I made, I had to make an appointment for this Friday. Seriously, my discharge doctor told me it was really just rat poison. I'm not sure if that was supposed to make me feel better. It sucks because now I may not be able to watch the CP get put into a tube. Since all I really remember of the MRI is the noise and I bet they want to do another one later, I'd like to see it done on someone else. Grrr. Arrgh.

In general, I've felt a little better the last couple of days. I guess therapy really does work. Maybe it's just my emotional incontinence leveling out. Sorry, I just love that phrase. It cracks me up. I think about Anthypophora's comment about Depends, and the CPs former emotional constipation, and it's over. Usually I end up rolling on the floor, which just proves my emotional incontinence.

Giving up...

Today Lody has to go home. It will be sad when Ms. Ecuador comes to get him. He loves us both when we come home and Yasser has even started instigating play.

Today I also asked my regular person for antidepressants. We talked about it. I cannot get in to see the prescribing psychiatrist until February. I'm not sure if it will be worth it then. It also sounds like if I go to that psychiatrist, I'll have to switch from my psychologist and I don't really want to do that.
I could ask my regular dr. to prescribe the anti-depressants for me. I see her a lot sooner than February. However, I don't know if I want to. The last time I was at the psychologist I was pretty certain I wouldn't need drugs.
I think the most important thing is that I am willing to say that I could. I just don't want to ignore an avenue of help because I'm being stubborn.

Really, I just need some Festive Punch.

puppies

Since I've been home from the hospital I've been hounding the DH for a new puppy. The DH has rightfully took the stand that we cannot spend other people's money on a puppy. He told his shrink about it today. The shrink said I was looking for a way to deflect attention from myself. Why the DH has a shrink and I don't is a story for another time. I think I getting all out talking with the Cajun Princess and blogging here and elsewhere.

I didn't ever think of it that way, but it's true. In so many ways the fact that I've had a stroke has been a big deal for everyone else. I literally just woke up in the hospital, everyone else had to worry. Although, I don't doubt my diagnosis, it's like something that didn't happen to me. As I have said all along mentally, I feel the same as ever. It's only physically, that I know something is different. I'm weaker and I really don't have the same stamina. So, while I appreciate everything that everyone has done and is doing, it feels really unnecessary. If there is a new puppy in the room maybe everyone will pay attention to it, instead of asking how I am and treating me like a porcelain doll. I'm just me. I'm supposed to be the one that takes care of everyone else, so it's really difficult to let others do things for me.

So, while I am over-joyed to be able to pee by myself. I do want something to take the attention off of me.