Showing posts with label miscellany. Show all posts
Showing posts with label miscellany. Show all posts

14 April 2009

...my emergencies...

Anyone who's been a teacher for any lenght of time understands the truism of that old bumpersticker/coffee cup - "Your problem does not count as an emergency for me." Well, it says something like that, but in a snappier wording. Daily, actually hourly, teachers hear excuses that are supposed to stop their world and whatever is happening in it. We grow callous and it rolls off of our backs like ducks and water. (Sorry for the silly metaphor.)

Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows that my "emergency" generator is the DH. The man is an avowed technophobe and cannot even attach documents (or download them) to emails without constant step by step instructions. I know, I know both Anthypophora and Congolia are out there thinking the same thing about me, but when I remember to do it before I hit send, I can at least attach a file. Why does any of this matter?

It matters when on the one day a week I do not have to get up early, I get woken up by a constant barage of questions shouted across the house.
"How do I turn on your computer?"
"What is your password?" (It was the first clue that something was going wrong. My computer remembers my pass word.)
"My email's not here...maybe they (???) changed your password."
"I need these documents printed before I leave for the 8am class." (Not really, he just hasn't been to class and wants to demonstrate that he is doing something.)
And my favorite thing at the end of it all..."You didn't have to get up."
Really. I didn't have to get up.

This is after I spent an hour at 10:00pm last night explaining to him that he couldn't open docx documents with his Window 2003 account and he kept repeating, "But where's the Chlamydia (read docx) document?"
Don't worry, none of us have STDs. The DH is doing an intership at the health department. Part of his current work is to translate STD fact sheets. Actually, the internship has been good. I'm pretty sure that after watching genital warts get burned off of people he will never cheat on me. Apparently it looks pretty gross and painful. Grown men cry.

07 April 2009

Smug

Smug is exactly how I feel. It's ridiculous that I should feel this good about doing something I am actually supposed to do EVERYDAY! Seriously, people I just need to write this damned thing.

Oooh and tonight I get to go see Neko Case. It's the first concert I've been to in 7 years. How sad is that?

Excuse me while I go read some comp theory.

05 April 2009

Randomness

There is stuff floating around in my ether, but I don't feel motivated to write whole posts.
  • It's impossible to walk two dogs at once.
  • Moshe is all legs. It makes him gonky like a teenage boy.
  • Is there a way to save BYRadio shows to my ipod?
  • If I am home all the time, why is the house such a mess? Really.
  • Why can't I write what I'm supposed to?
  • I want money to open a drive-through coffee stand. (I know the perfect spot.)
  • I read all day yesterday and still feel like I could put the book down at any moment.
  • In my head I've cast myself and Noah Wylie. Watching the ER finale made me remember how cute he is.
  • I need a themed-day, but I don't know what yet. You know, like Wordless Wednesday or something, but no pictures- at least no pictures of me.
  • My own professionalism or lack thereof.
  • What do I really believe about my little corner of this profession? How would I articulate myself to search committees?

04 April 2009

Sunny Days...Chasin' the Clouds Away

Yesterday was beautiful.
The amazing thing about yesterday, only one person was absent. Go Figure. Friday. Beautiful Weather. Tough Material.
Not so amazing was the girl who sat through my class visibly bored out of her mind and rolling her eyes. This is the same girl who sent me an angry email last week.
Everyone else in the class was with me, so it shouldn't matter. However, when your teaching it doesn't seem to matter if you have 99% of everyone's interest and attention, you physically need that one percent even if you loose the other 99% in the process.
I know all of that and still I felt like a dolt when class ended.

It was so nice last night, and there is no food in the house except for string cheese, I walked up to the bar for dinner. I took "The Historian" with me and slogged through another few chapters. Am I the only one who just cannot get into this book? That's not important.
What is important is the quality of mullet at the bar. It was truly a sight to behold. Dog the Bounty Hunter without gel. Minding my own business, reading and ignoring the 65 year old men, the mullet called to me. It forced me to look up and behold it's blond glory.

My special mullet radar stems from a former bar tender. He was the king of all bartenders. Perfectly tan, orange, with bleach blond hair he wore shorts all winter (in MN) and bartended like it was a jazzercize class. You might think I'm being mean, but he made the best cosmo ever and always gave me the extra. You see my bartender didn't just have a mullet. He had a duckbill that was ever so slightly grown out to include a collar length mullet. It's difficult to describe, but a wonder to behold.
In case you can't quite picture the duckbill, here is a visual aid.


The mullet really wasn't the highlight of the bar trip. Next to the bar is a great little middle eastern market. After dinner I stopped for some imported cream soda and almond nugat. The almond nugat is the highlight of the trip.

The best part of it all was to come home, drink cream soda, eat a couple of pieces of almond nugat and watch "The Sarah Connor Chronicles," which is a heck of a lot better than "Dollhouse."

02 April 2009

Changes...

It's official; a Facebook Quiz told us so. The Cajun Princess is Ousier and I am Clairee. From now on we will be known as such.

It's time for a new name anyway. Someday is just not really name and since I will, hopefully, one day have my phd it's time it begin the name change. So, just call me Clairee and I will do my best Olympia Dukasis impression. As you've probably noticed I'm great with color commentary. The only small hang up is that I'm not a widow yet. Most of the time I'm happy about that, but these days my patience is being tried.

Lately the only good news to come out of these parts is that Moshe loves me best. Really. It's true. I'm the one who is usually home so he loves me best. Ha! He is the cutest dog ever. When he sits in my lap, he looks up at me like I'm the love of his life. I remember a time when the DH would look at me like that. Now it's all "Woman, fetch me my slippers."
Don't worry it's not all that dire. The DH and I are just still adjusting to our new situation. It takes time people.

The truly sucky news is that I applied for jobs at Starbucks and Borders today. I'm really hoping Borders will take me back. I liked my job there. It just sucks that I need two jobs right now. I'm supposed to have time to write, but it's just not possible. I know our Borders is struggling, so keep your fingers crossed for me. Starbucks is Starbucks. There are certain places I want to work in town and if I can't get into those stores, it's just not worth it for me.

I know, I know. I'm not supposed to say that on the internet, but it's true. I worked there long enough to know who the different store managers are and which of them has a management style I can work with and which doesn't. It's about knowing myself, not a reflection on the company.

13 March 2009

Half time

It's almost over. I needed this Spring Break more than any other. It's almost gone and I've nothing to show for it. Well, I can't really complain about that. It was my intention. The only thing I haven't gotten done is cleaning my room. The puppy has torn it apart and I cannot bring myself to clean it again.

Taking the week off worked well. Working on the prospectus doesn't seem like such a chore. I've also given some thought to restructuring what's left of the semester. This semester isn't a shining star in my teaching career. It hasn't sucked, but I definitley haven't put the time into my teaching that I should. It's nothing the students would have noticed, but it's bugging me. Hopefully, I'll be able to salvage the rest of the semester.

09 March 2009

Update

Still cleaning. Really. I've been doing laundry for 3 days. The DH and I clearly have way too many clothes. I'd like to donate/purge, but I want to use this summer/fall to figure out what we really wear before I do that.

This clean is taking on a whole new level of urgency. My in-laws are coming in a couple of weeks. The last time they were here, when I was in the hospital, they did a huge clean. I figure I'd better have the place looking great by the time they get here.

Puppy Update:
Puppies are a lot like children they seem so small and then one day you look at them and it's like they've grown twelve feet over night. You can't really tell from the recent pictures, but Moshe's really growing. He's all legs right now. I swear we went to bed one night and he could still fit in the palm of your hand and the next morning he was 3 inches taller.
He is, however, still afraid to go down the stairs by himself. He can get up the stairs no problem, but whenever everyone goes down stairs he just sits at the top and whimpers. I don't get it.

08 March 2009

Spring Cleaning...

When I'm done I'll post before and after shots. Man there is a lot of work to do around here. If nothing else it will keep me busy while the DH works about 90 hours this week.

I find it kind of strange that I have an overwhemling urge to scrub the kitchen/dining room floor before the Terminix guy comes. Seriously, does he care what the floor looks like?

07 March 2009

Electronic Boundaries

It occurs to me that I've committed a faux pas. Like my students who forget to turn their phones off in the classroom, or send me ridiculously casual emails, I've forgotten the electronic boundaries; or, rather, I didn't think about what they might be prior to charging through them. So, like a dog with an electric fence, I've learned my lesson.

I can hear all of you now, "What?"

What I write here in blogspace is meant to be consumed. I'd be hard pressed to make an argument that anything I write here is "private." Heck, I don't even thing my anonymity is real, but I choose to maintain the facade just in case. Because I just joined and so many of the people I follow are bloggers, I'd forgotten that Twitter is a more private space. I should have known better. I joined it to continue a conversation with a friend on the other side of the country. Consequently, it was wrong of my to post about anything anyone else said there, especially since I knew the comment was not directed at me. So, Black Hockey Jesus, thank you for the recognition and not calling me out on such a blatant abuse of your privacy.

06 March 2009

I pity the fool...

If you do not live in the South East, I'm sorry. Really, I've lived many places and they all have their own beauty, but today. Today you should really live down here.
Do you remember Monday? Monday my back yard was a snow filled wonderland.

Today, just four short days later. I'm sitting on the couch with the back door open and my yard looks like a spring time wonderland.
See:


In fact, today is so beautiful that when only 3 of the 6 people who bothered to show up for class on time today had actually read the material I did not yell at them. I rescheduled today's presentation, talked for a bit, and let them all go early...without any snark. Since one of the people who didn't read spent the day looking bored out of her mind and practically asleep I did a really good job of avoiding snark.

To prove I'm still in a good mood, here are some puppy pictures.

Impending doom

Class doesn't start until 1pm so I won't have a wreck analysis for you until then.

Until then, I have a story of woe, shame, and maybe vindication. Last night, one of my favorite bloggers Black Hockey Jesus posted a tweet telling all bloggers to stop with the boring lists. Now, while I follow his tweets, read The Wind in Your Vagina like it is crack cocaine and all of that I guarantee he does not know or care about my boring lists. You, however, are probably a different story. Consequently, I'll do my best not to post lists. Sometimes, a girl has to do what a girl has to do.

In lieu of list is going to be a BHJ/Dooce style bid for recognition. I think BHJ is still working on his quest for recognition from the almighty Dooce. I'm going to aim my sites differently and work for Black Hockey Jesus recognition. Hey, maybe he'll even send me a ghost or an imaginary friend or just some of those hip thong panties. Watch out Lucy, I love Calamari.

I know I'm not in the lofty, windy heights of Black Hockey Jesus bloggerdom; and, I don't even have kids. What I do know is that I understand his post-modern, existentially influenced philosophical view of the world. I just don't quite have to poetry to express in the same way. So, Black Hockey Jesus, in the immortal words of Laura Roslyn, "I AM COMING FOR ALL OF YOU!"

04 March 2009

A Beautiful Thing...

Most of the time I lament the state of my imagination. It's alive and kicking. It's just not very interesting. Really, I can imagine the hell out of anything I've seen or heard, embellishing it until it fits the state of my life. However, I've never been able to make something whole out of nothing. It's like I only got half of the creative gene. Anyway most of the time it gets me down, but every once in a while it satisfies my every need.

When I have my iPod with me and playing something other than a book on tape, I like to imagine it is the soundtrack to my life. Whatever song is playing either reminds me of something or puts me in another mood. I walk faster, taller, and stronger when I listen to Pearl Jam or Soul Coughing. My best writing is done to the Bach Cello Concertos played by Pablo Casals. You get the idea. I assume this is what everyone does with their iPod.

Sometimes a song will play that is actually from a soundtrack of either a television show or movie. I remember the scene, the moment, whatever happened at that time. When I really want to kick some ass, or I just need some good energy, I play "Super Bon Bon." Suddenly I am Frank Pembleton kick in the doors of strip clubs hunting down Steve Buscemi. By the time the song is over and/or I've made it to class I'm ready to face the energy-sucking life force of 22 19 year olds. Just after Christmas I purchased some new music and my current kick-ass song is "Girlfriend" by Matthew Sweet. I didn't ever have the album or anything, but I love the song. It makes me remember being 19 and living in Bellingham (the good parts anyway.)

The other song in heavy rotation is "Beautiful Way" by Beck. The H:LOTS folks used it a couple of times. The last time I remember was in the movie, just before Timmy blows up the entire world. Don't worry that wasn't a spoiler, but if you've seen the movie you know what I mean. When I walk down the hall listening to "ooooh, it's a beautiful way to break your heart" Tim and Frank walk with me. I'm invincible. It's pretty cool, even if I do borrow the characters from somewhere else. It helps me get through the long days in the prison of my cubicle.

02 March 2009

Haunted Garage...

The story begins with my Mother-in-Law. She has a long history of finding things like fart machines and the Billy Bass funny. I think the best present I ever got her was a whoopy cushion.

About 2 years ago my MiL sent us the Santa Pig. It's a plush pig dressed like santa, AND when you pull it's tail it says, "Oink, oink, oink...Oink, Oink, Oink" to the tune of jingle bells. Needless to say it drove Yasser mad. So, every year for Christmas we bring out the pig for a few hours and let Yasser have at it. Just the sight of it puts Yasser into a frenzy. Over the years, the pig has gotten a little worse for ware. His Santa suit is loosing some of it's sparkle. You can't always get the music to start...or stop. In December I'll try to get some video of Yasser and Moshe finishing him off.

So, every once in a while, in the last two days, when we open the garage door the pig, tucked away in the box of Christmas decorations, will be oinking. It is just about the creepiest thing ever. It's not motion sensitive...you really have to pull on the tail to get it to Oink. Just now, at 9:45pm I was going to go out and get a soda, but I opened the door and there was Oinking. I shut the door, locked it, and made Bradley go out there.

I'm not messing with the Satan Pig.

Proverbial bull...

It is a beautiful, snowy day here in Someday land. It beautiful because it doesn't happen here that often, which means whenever it does snow there is bound to be a day off. This semester has had it's share of late starts. Since I don't teach until 1:00pm, those do not normally affect me. Today, however, today they just cancelled the whole day. Woo Hoo! I got an extra, much needed day off.

Of course, I began badgering the DH to take me out. It's really not that bad on the main roads, but a lot of areas are without power. As we got ready to go out, I went into the back yard to play around. I stood under the deck umbrella to hit the snow and make it fall off. Unfortunately, doing that, caused an imbalance in the umbrella. The whole table began to tip over and when the umbrella stalk hit the glass of the table it shattered. Yup. Shattered. It's all over the deck. I tried to clean it up, but I think I have to wait for the snow to melt. This kind of thing only happens to me. I broke the deck table in the middle of winter.

I'm so sad. Now, we don't have a deck table. I guess we'll have to start trolling the ailses at Home Depot and Big Lots.

Snow Da y Cuteness

As you've probably heard, the world has come to an end south of the Mason-Dixon. The great part of living down here is the occasional "Snow Day" when everything shuts down. Unless you work at the grocery store, you get the day off. Here are some pictures of snow and animals to get us through the day.
This is a momentous occassion. Yasser and Moshe have been playing together, but Yasser is a grumpy little bastard when he sleeps. He even growls at us for moving. Consequently, this is the closest they've ever been when relaxing. AND Yasser moved there voluntarily.

Puppies first big snow. I think it is actually as deep as his belly. Whatever it is, he doesn't like it much.

The sun is out. The sky is blue. It is truly a GORGEOUS day.

25 February 2009

Paying for it.

I think I've written before about how much I enjoy it when I'm reading a mystery, or just pulp, novel and I find a quotation or an idea that reaches out of the genre to speak to the reader. Sometimes it happens in little ways. In Black House Stephen King and Peter Straub spend a lot of time referencing and even mirroring passages of Bleak House. I think it's great because a whole bunch of folks who would never think of reading Bleak House will go and pick it up and check it out because it was in a novel they liked. Well, I like to think that happens.

In the novel I'm currently listening to, one character goes on a long diatribe about the quotation, "Take what you want and pay for it, says God." In the book it's supposed to be some sort of Spanish proverb, but who knows.

To me it is interesting to think about life that way, not just the material things. Of course we all pay a high price for the material 'things' we have, but what if you thought of everything in this way. What is the price we pay for love, friendship, family? Too often, I think we feel owed these elements. It doesn't occur to us that there is a consequence for every relationship. We just hope that the price will not come due, nor be too high.

Here's the most important part of this idea...we do not get to decide the price. The price is set before we ever see what's in the window. Because we don't often associate love, friendship, and family with a value/price, I think we tend to take them all for granted. So, I guess my goal, it not to give anything up, but to really accept what I have...consequences and all.

24 February 2009

Lent

I'm not catholic, but I have friends who are...and, I have a Virgin Mary medallion from some chapel in France. It should have been something I thought of earlier, but I need to think about what I want to give up for Lent. I never try very hard, or succeed, but I thought this year it might be good to be mindful of my life for a month or so. I don't know maybe the near death experience is just getting to me. Suggestions?

23 February 2009

The Letters...

So far, there's been no word from the White House or my Senator. I'd at least like a form letter reply from someone.

My secret dream is that someone at the WH will read my letter, want to hear more, approve of my idea, AND ask me to run the program. Of course that is like winning the lottery, but hey, I dream big. I learned it from Penelope Cruz. (Sorry for the uncalled for snark. It's early.)

Really, all my hope is placed in the Oprah book. So far I have 16 pages, which is a hell of alot more pages than anything else, it's different than it looked before, I decided on a different structure. More and more people are writing books and I figure that if they can do it, so can I. Actually, I think selling the book as a cheap pdf is a great idea. It cuts out the middle man.

Last night, I twittered for the first time. I'm Somedayphd over there as well, if you want to find me. I live-blogged the Oscars with a friend from the West Coast. I was doing alright until they played all the music. After that, I nearly fell asleep. Honestly, I had no business watching. I haven't see ANY of the films. I had no business commenting because I am not very funny. Although I love Kate Winslet and I think she's finally replace Angela Bassett on my dream list, I'm really sad Melissa Leo didn't win.

Melissa Leo has been stunning since that television show about pony express riders. I can't think of the name, but Advice Monkey knows the one. She may not tell you, though, because it would mean admitting to her one time love of Stephen Baldwin. Anyway she is a versatile and talented actress whom no one seems to really notice. Nobody talked much about her performance, but 28 grams would not have been the same without her. Last night, I was doubly sad for her. She didn't win AND she had the most awful hair. Really. It looked like something an 80 year old woman in 1967 would have done to her hair once a week. It's actually triplely sad because her hair is FABULOUS.

Okay, enough about the hair. It doesn't take away fromt the fact that Melissa Leo deserves a damn Oscar already...especially if you've already given Kate Winslet the Golden Globe. Shake it up a little bit people.

22 February 2009

Piping down

It's time for me to be quiet. Not here of course, I'll always be nice and loud here. However, lately, I think I've been too vocal around the department. Really. I've just been complaining (i.e. bitching) my little heart out.

What is happening in our department is nothing that hasn't happened before other places; and, frankly, until it happens somewhere that actually pays me a salary and allows me to vote on issues, I don't care.

There is, however, something interesting about what is happening to our department. Last year, when this particular search was conducted it was because a desperation point had been reached. There was a job to do, but no one wanted to do it anymore. So, in spite of the fact, that the people who interviewed for the job were in various ways probably not the best fit. At least one of them was willing to do the job.

The problem is that very few people really knew or understood what the job really was. The job was presented as administrative when really it was more about management. This in no way implies that there weren't necessary changes to be made, there were. But, the changes needed to be gradual and they also needed to reflect an understanding of the work already done. Obviously, that hasn't really been the case; but as I said I'm done complaining about that.

None of this sounds very interesting until you think about it historically and professionally. Much of the current problem stems from an historic inability of our department to explain what does/is/should go on in the writing classroom. It was assumed that everyone not only knew, but also agreed what should be happening in the writing classroom.

Here are two examples the first of what I was taught when I first got here and the second of what the current trend is looking like.

The writing classroom is a space in which we can use the study of rhetoric to teach students how to think critically. This approach allows students to develop their own strategies for use when they are asked to produce other forms of writing. (See my post about service course.) The problem with this idea of the purpose of a writing class is that it is not very testable. In other words, there is no way to give all the students some sort of test at the end of 15 weeks that says, "Yes! They've mastered this material."

The current trend is to quantify what goes on in the writing classroom. We may still not produce an End of Subject test, but we know we will only have x amount of reading, and y amount of writing; and we will define objectives and goals until all the courses look the same. This makes sure that everyone from fellow faculty to the university at large can look at our information and think they know what goes on in a writing classroom.

The problem with the first approach is that is difficult to explain to outsiders...really to anyone. Even more importantly it's difficult to pull off well. What that means is that when you have a course taught almost exculsively by graduate students is that sometimes the course will go badly wrong. But, usually the wrongness of it all is what we learn from...both the students and the graduate instructor. The other problem with this approach that is specific to our institution is that it became insular. The running of the Composition program went back and forth between two individuals who thought that everyone else understood what they were doing.

The problem with the second approach is that although the numbers will all look pretty, there is no real way to quantify what goes on in a Writing Class. The attempt to articulate what happens in the writing class through quantifiable evidence becomes problematic when the numbers don't add up to the need. In our situation, this is also a HUGE pendulum swing. People who didn't necessarily agree with the former methods are just as outraged by the rash of changes as those who did.

The really crappy part of it all is that since those of us most affected by the changes are graduate students we are simply seen as whining, not as offering an actual critique. People think that everything will settle down when the last of us trained in the old way leave. What they don't realize is that by then, if the pendulum hasn't swung back a little, it will be too late. The Composition Program here is moving from one that thrives and is growing, to one that will stagnate and die.

This probably really isn't very interesting to anyone else. I just think it's fascinating to see the arguments of the profession, arguments that seemed sorted out and decided, play out in front of me.

17 February 2009

Watch Lists

I think I made it on a few of them today. You can help me see how long it takes to get a response. Today, I sent the following letter to the White House and to one of my Senators. (I almost put a name. That would have given you a general location!)

Here's the letter:

17 February 2008

Dear Mr. President, or whom this may concern,

When speaking of education in the country the immediate needs and concerns of the K-12 system often overshadow the needs of the University system. The need to get children ready for, and interested in, going to College, outweighs the need of the students who’ve chosen to remain in College to further their education. As a graduate student, I’ve watched my ability to get grants diminish and my reliance on student loans swell.

As I work toward earning my PhD in Rhetoric and Composition, I watch the job market around me shrivel. More and more Universities rely on adjunct faculty, people who will work for a certain number of credit hours rather than a salary and benefits. Hiring adjuncts is cheaper for the University because they can use them as needed and not be required to maintain a tenure track line in their budget. From personal experience, I can see that when I graduate I am more than likely to spend a few years as an adjunct before I can find a full time position.

The problem is that an adjunct’s pay rate is usually quite low. A recent article in the LA Times about Dr. Biden stated her salary was, “$900 to $1,227 per credit hour. (That means each semester her pay could be from $9,000 to $12,270.)” Dr. Biden works at a Community College, but University rates are not much better. If you look at what Dr. Biden could make for a year of teaching, it’s about $24,540, before taxes. If I made that amount, and I will not make much more, I would have to pay my rent, own health insurance, bills, and a student loan bill, which would be nearly impossible.

University and Community College budgets must feel the squeeze of these hard economic times, but they will also see an influx in students, require more and cheaper faculty. They will not increase more expensive and long term full-time positions. They will increase their adjunct faculty. In the English department this has happened time and time again. (If you are interested read Eileen Schell’s Gypsy Academics and Mother Teachers.) I propose a plan to help Universities and Community Colleges save money and help graduate students relieve their student loan dept.

Universities and Community Colleges around the country could enroll for a specialized adjunct work force of recently graduated graduate students. These students would work full time for adjunct pay for a period of years. By agreeing to teach wherever they are assigned for a certain amount of years they will be relieved of a certain amount of their student loan debt. This kind of program would help prevent the glut of the Humanities job market and encourage others in nursing or science programs to teach for a while.

While I have other more specific ideas about implementing such a program, I won’t share them until asked. Thank you for taking the time to read through my proposal.

Respectfully,


Of course, I tweaked it all a little bit for my senator, but not much. Since it was an email, I also signed my own name, but that is strictly a need to know basis.