Seconding...

This was my first season watching Top Chef. While I didn't take to it with the zeal of Project Runway, I enjoyed the show. Seeing this post about Tom Colicchio over at Shakesville just made sure I will watch more closely in the future.

Tom Colicchio definitely deserves praise for standing out in such a messed up aspect of the entertainment industry.

Waves upon waves upon waves...

Reading Shakesville this morning, I stumbled across this piece by Amanda Fortini.

The idea of a reawakening is so appealing. But Fortini's article raises an issue I've had for quite some time.
Fortini's acceptance, and use, of the "wave" metaphor of feminism bothers me. Yes, there are many, many young women out there who believe they live in a post feminist moment. The semester I co-taught a Feminist Theory class with Dr. Snarky and Fiery Mentor we spent the entire first month defining feminism and defending it as a legitimate and necessary position. Yes, that was in a course clearly labeled Feminist Theory. The fact that the women and men in this class felt that feminism was over demonstrates a perceived lull in the movement. However, in reality, by the end of the semester several of the students in that class had officially joined the Women's and Gender Studies program, and started a student run Feminist Group on campus. (I'm not sure if that group still exists.) What they saw over the course of the semester was that the moment was not dead, and that a larger community existed for them to join.

There have certainly been stronger and weaker moments for the movement, but perpetuating the wave metaphor keeps elements of the movement distinct and dispersed. Because waves are always distinct and separate, when members of the movement are assigned to specific waves, they are separated. If we accept the wave metaphor, we accept allow ourselves to be separated. We allow the 'rift' between the second and third wave feminists to become reality and grow. If we allow the wave metaphor, then we accept that for each wave we begin from a flat surface, that we have to build our movement and momentum always from scratch, without drawing on the energy of the members of the wave before us. Enough with the wave metaphor.

That's all I have time for right now, but I'm sure this issue will come up again.

Ether

Now that I'm done with the exams, it is time to focus on the dissertation. Well, the dissertation prospectus, but to have one of those requires an idea for a dissertation.

The Cajun Princess lent me her copy of How to Write Your Dissertation in 15 Minutes a Day. Following its advice, I've been trying to free-write for at least 10 minutes everyday. The worked well for about three days, but then life got in the way. It was also only minimally helpful because I wasn't reading everyday. Reading helps me to think about my project in new ways. Especially at this point when I'm trying to decide on a text to work with. I'm hoping to get back on track tomorrow.

What I need to be more concerned about is my paper for the conference in May. I haven't started, and I'm not feeling very inspired. I'm also working on a proposal for the CCCC conference next year. I'm not sure what I want to do. I don't have anything I can just adapt for the conference. Ideally, I should propose something that will work into my dissertation. I'm just not sure what that is yet.

Someone needs to hit me with the idea stick.

Moving on...

It's been incredibly hard to get back to work this week. By back to work, I mean back to grading. I took a hiatus just before orals, but now my grading jail is looking pretty formidable. It is of course just the tip of the iceberg of "Things I Have to Do." And, as usual, because I have so many "Things I Have to Do" I am rapidly developing a list of "Things I Want to Do." The bad part of this process is that I usually fill the "TIWTD" list with items that are actually productive. They just aren't what needs to be done at this moment.

It doesn't help that I bought a new planner at Staples last night, which means all I really want to do is fill it with stuff. It's a 2008-2009 academic planner. Why do I need an extra planner when I love my QPB Calendar of Days? Well, during my hiatus from posting, I did this crazy thing and applied for an administrative position for next year. It is a position designed for a graduate student, but has quite a few responsibilities--hence, the need for its own planner. Next year the position has the potential to be even more responsibility because it is an "Assistant To" position and the person holding that position next year is brand new to our University. Changes will be made, feathers will be ruffled, and I will get to be in the middle of it all.

The thing is, I really wanted this position this year. It is a position that always looks good on a CV, but the ability to discuss being a part of this transition in an interview will also be very beneficial. The word from those, who have held this position in the past, and are currently on The Market is that everyone wants to know about this position. They feel like this position got them interviews.

Oh, I wont' be on the market for a while yet, but it is good to know I will look good on paper when I get there.

Creating Habits..

I'm not promising intellectual substance, but in an effort to get back in the habit, I will at least provide pictures.

It's been gray and rainy here for about four days. My tolerance for this kind of weather isn't what it once was. The good part is that in spite of the lackluster weather, spring is definitely here. Here are some photos to prove it.

This is a view of the tree from the backyard. Since we moved here in July, I'd never seen it bloom before. It is stunning to say the least.







My view of that tree from my desk. When you walk into my office all you can see out the window is white.







Here is a close up of the flowers on the tree.

I'm not exactly sure why I have this urge to take pictures of everything, but I've been toting my camera around more often lately.





Oh, here's one last sign of spring. I'm sure as home owners we should not be encouraging this activity, but I like it. I cant' wait to see what happens. I don't know what kind it is, but I'm assuming this is a male building a nest to attract a female. It's all I can do to keep from checking for eggs.

Whew!

Did I really say something about posting during the comps process?
Clearly that was a lie.

The good news...today I passed the orals section of my exams. In the words of Dr. Southern Bell, "We are calling this woman ABD."

Maybe I'll actually get around to posting here again. It just won't be tonight.

Dates, Deadlines, and Daring

Way back in September, when I thought I would get over my summer of procrastination and get to work, I submitted to a fairly large conference in my field that is happening in May of next year. My submission was a part of a panel with Dr. Snarky, Crazy Theory Girl, and Dr. Hippie. Initially, I wasn't looking for a panel, I was looking for some help with my proposal, but CTG scooped me up and incorporated me into her plan. We found out this week we were accepted. It will be so much fun, because the last big conference in my field I went to was in Dr. Snarky's home town. We walked around town and went shopping together. This next big conference in May is in my home state. I'm not a big city girl, so it's not my home town, but I'll have a good time showing Dr. Snarky around.

There is another part to this conference. This particular conference demonstrates a pretty big commitment to graduate students. One of the ways they've done this is to create a forum where graduate students can submit works in progress and receive feedback from some of the Big Names in the field. Remember when I said that back in September I was feeling like I might actually be productive during this process...well, I sent in a submission to bring my dissertation prospectus, and I was accepted. Now, getting accepted really isn't that big of a deal. It was pretty much a first come/first served kind of thing. The big deal is having a draft of my dissertation prospectus by April 15th.

In other places I've been more vocal about my comps-study process (or lack thereof), but I haven't talked too much about it here. That is mostly because I've wanted to indulge in my own feelings of failure and ineptitude rather than really think critically about what is going on behind my issues with this process. And, now that I'm ready to talk about it here, I'm sick of talking about it. The short version is that I've wasted too much time and now I'm cramming. Everyone assures me that I know more than I think I do, and that it will be fine. Intellectually, I'm sure it will. When I meet with the professors I'm working with this semester, I feel fairly good about my progress. I just wish that I was able to get to this point in September rather than now.

The issue that most concerns me right now is that, for some stupid reason, I really thought this process would be generative for me. I thought that as I read I would be making connections and having ideas about what it is I want to do with my dissertation. I'm not. Not even a little.

My friends who have been through this process say that the connections really start to flow towards the end. That makes sense...and in all honesty I haven't been reading like I should be so, not making connections isn't really all that surprising.

The larger issue for me, even before I knew I had to get cracking on my dissertation prospectus, is that I feel even more in the dark about my dissertation project than ever. When I began this process there were three concepts that I felt would somehow come together for me as I read and help me find my project. My lists, even though they were created last minute, were designed to give me broad readings in each of these concept areas. They are doing that, but it's not working the way I thought. Hopefully as I buckle down over break, ideas will begin to flow for me.

This weekend the DH and Cajun Princess both spent time talking with me about my readings/ideas trying to prove to me that I know my stuff. It did help my peace of mind a little. It also confirmed something for me. I generate ideas communally. A big part of my problem this semester has been that I am not working in a community environment. So, in this process that determines my fate I also have to negotiate learning things that I've never been very good at - self-discipline, working in isolation, trusting my own knowledge and ideas.

The good news is actually that deadlines are set. The dates of my exams have been set. I know I need something about my dissertation that will not embarrass myself by mid-April. Having dates and deadlines is actually helpful. Now, it's time to get back to work.