Graphophobia

My life has never followed a "traditional" direction, to say the least. The year after I got married we moved in with my in-laws. During that year, my mother decided to move back to MN. While I understand her discomfort staying at my in-laws, I don't necessarily agree with her decision to stay up north with my aunt. There are no jobs where we are from. None. There hasn't been for years. If she would have stayed a little longer in the Cities with us, I think she could have found something good. Who will ever know.

A few months after she got settle into life in the hinterland, the DH and I went up to see her new trailer. Honest to God, a double-wide in a trailer park. My other Aunt lived next door. I really cannot make this stuff up. Anyway, while we were there one of my cousins came to visit. She brought her 4 kids. Her oldest is a girl and the others are boys, at the time I think they were around 6 and 8.

My cousin, my mother, and I sat around her kitchen table catching up. The kids were all pretty wound up and loud. You know how a trailer full of kids can sound. All of a sudden we heard a huge crashing noise. We hurried into the living room. The DH was sitting on a love seat, pointing at the kid, saying "He came at me with a pencil."

The kid...I mean the six year old was lying on his back, legs in the air like a stink bug on top of the remains of a plastic coffee table. Do you remember the ones you could put together like legos? Like that. The DH had apparently grabbed him and body slammed him into the coffee table in self-defense. Sure, the DH is small, but it's kind of hard to imagine him being impaled by a six year old with a mechanical pencil.

Being the concerned relatives that we are, I think all three of us doubled over in laughter as the DH tried to explain how the six year old terrorized him with the pencil before coming at him with it raised like the knife in Psycho. The DH loves to tell the story to defend himself. I still nearly pee my pants just thinking about it.