Confusion...

All I can say at this moment is that it sucks when someone else's flakiness results in confusion that looks like your fault. It particularly sucks when that someone is tenured and you are just a lowly TA.

And I thought I wanted this administrative type job.

What I read and Why I read it...

After reading Dr. Crazy's post about Blogging Angst, I've thought a little about what I am doing here...or, more accurately, not doing here, and maybe what I hope to do here. The answer to those questions really lie in the title of this post. I created this space because of the blogs I read. In their own ways each of the blogs on the list to the left inspire me. They make me want to become a part of a community that is larger than the people I see everyday. Don't worry I'm not going to run down the list. There are just a few places that I need to acknowledge.

It all began a little over a year ago when I started reading Shakesville. It started because as a part of a class assignment I followed Amanda Marcotte and Melissa McEwan's resignation from the Edward's campaign. For a while I read both Pandagon and Shakesville, but eventually Pandagon slipped under my radar. What kept me reading at Shakesville was obviously the content, but also the sense of community. It doesn't matter that I've only commented once, I still feel like I know the people who contribute. About that content...I don't automatically agree with everything I read at Shakesville, but everything I read at Shakeville makes me think about myself, my own ideas, and my relationship to the world. So, when I do manage to put up a decent post about something happening in the world, it is because I would like this to be a space where I raise my own teaspoon.

Another inspiration, perhaps one of the biggest, is Dr. Crazy at Reassigned Time. That really isn't shocking given the beginning of this post. What Shakesville does for me in terms of the world and feminism, Dr. Crazy does for me in terms of my profession and work. Her posts, whether they are about the Man-Kitty and Mr. Stripey or Academic Life vs. Personal Life, always make me think about what it is I do and why I do it. They also generally give me hope that I will be able to find a place within this profession that will allow me to find a balance between all the aspects of this crazy job.

I read Shakesville and Reassigned Time nearly every day. Although I know that this space will always be something a little different from those blogs, they are my models for what I hope to accomplish here on a much smaller level.

Seconding...

This was my first season watching Top Chef. While I didn't take to it with the zeal of Project Runway, I enjoyed the show. Seeing this post about Tom Colicchio over at Shakesville just made sure I will watch more closely in the future.

Tom Colicchio definitely deserves praise for standing out in such a messed up aspect of the entertainment industry.

Waves upon waves upon waves...

Reading Shakesville this morning, I stumbled across this piece by Amanda Fortini.

The idea of a reawakening is so appealing. But Fortini's article raises an issue I've had for quite some time.
Fortini's acceptance, and use, of the "wave" metaphor of feminism bothers me. Yes, there are many, many young women out there who believe they live in a post feminist moment. The semester I co-taught a Feminist Theory class with Dr. Snarky and Fiery Mentor we spent the entire first month defining feminism and defending it as a legitimate and necessary position. Yes, that was in a course clearly labeled Feminist Theory. The fact that the women and men in this class felt that feminism was over demonstrates a perceived lull in the movement. However, in reality, by the end of the semester several of the students in that class had officially joined the Women's and Gender Studies program, and started a student run Feminist Group on campus. (I'm not sure if that group still exists.) What they saw over the course of the semester was that the moment was not dead, and that a larger community existed for them to join.

There have certainly been stronger and weaker moments for the movement, but perpetuating the wave metaphor keeps elements of the movement distinct and dispersed. Because waves are always distinct and separate, when members of the movement are assigned to specific waves, they are separated. If we accept the wave metaphor, we accept allow ourselves to be separated. We allow the 'rift' between the second and third wave feminists to become reality and grow. If we allow the wave metaphor, then we accept that for each wave we begin from a flat surface, that we have to build our movement and momentum always from scratch, without drawing on the energy of the members of the wave before us. Enough with the wave metaphor.

That's all I have time for right now, but I'm sure this issue will come up again.

Ether

Now that I'm done with the exams, it is time to focus on the dissertation. Well, the dissertation prospectus, but to have one of those requires an idea for a dissertation.

The Cajun Princess lent me her copy of How to Write Your Dissertation in 15 Minutes a Day. Following its advice, I've been trying to free-write for at least 10 minutes everyday. The worked well for about three days, but then life got in the way. It was also only minimally helpful because I wasn't reading everyday. Reading helps me to think about my project in new ways. Especially at this point when I'm trying to decide on a text to work with. I'm hoping to get back on track tomorrow.

What I need to be more concerned about is my paper for the conference in May. I haven't started, and I'm not feeling very inspired. I'm also working on a proposal for the CCCC conference next year. I'm not sure what I want to do. I don't have anything I can just adapt for the conference. Ideally, I should propose something that will work into my dissertation. I'm just not sure what that is yet.

Someone needs to hit me with the idea stick.

Moving on...

It's been incredibly hard to get back to work this week. By back to work, I mean back to grading. I took a hiatus just before orals, but now my grading jail is looking pretty formidable. It is of course just the tip of the iceberg of "Things I Have to Do." And, as usual, because I have so many "Things I Have to Do" I am rapidly developing a list of "Things I Want to Do." The bad part of this process is that I usually fill the "TIWTD" list with items that are actually productive. They just aren't what needs to be done at this moment.

It doesn't help that I bought a new planner at Staples last night, which means all I really want to do is fill it with stuff. It's a 2008-2009 academic planner. Why do I need an extra planner when I love my QPB Calendar of Days? Well, during my hiatus from posting, I did this crazy thing and applied for an administrative position for next year. It is a position designed for a graduate student, but has quite a few responsibilities--hence, the need for its own planner. Next year the position has the potential to be even more responsibility because it is an "Assistant To" position and the person holding that position next year is brand new to our University. Changes will be made, feathers will be ruffled, and I will get to be in the middle of it all.

The thing is, I really wanted this position this year. It is a position that always looks good on a CV, but the ability to discuss being a part of this transition in an interview will also be very beneficial. The word from those, who have held this position in the past, and are currently on The Market is that everyone wants to know about this position. They feel like this position got them interviews.

Oh, I wont' be on the market for a while yet, but it is good to know I will look good on paper when I get there.

Creating Habits..

I'm not promising intellectual substance, but in an effort to get back in the habit, I will at least provide pictures.

It's been gray and rainy here for about four days. My tolerance for this kind of weather isn't what it once was. The good part is that in spite of the lackluster weather, spring is definitely here. Here are some photos to prove it.

This is a view of the tree from the backyard. Since we moved here in July, I'd never seen it bloom before. It is stunning to say the least.







My view of that tree from my desk. When you walk into my office all you can see out the window is white.







Here is a close up of the flowers on the tree.

I'm not exactly sure why I have this urge to take pictures of everything, but I've been toting my camera around more often lately.





Oh, here's one last sign of spring. I'm sure as home owners we should not be encouraging this activity, but I like it. I cant' wait to see what happens. I don't know what kind it is, but I'm assuming this is a male building a nest to attract a female. It's all I can do to keep from checking for eggs.