Wandering the Academy

Again...

2009-04-16T19:15:00.002-04:00

I'm trying to let you all know that I'm moving. It's not exactly working the way I'd hoped, but we'll see.

...my emergencies...

2009-04-14T09:01:00.002-04:00

Anyone who's been a teacher for any lenght of time understands the truism of that old bumpersticker/coffee cup - "Your problem does not count as an emergency for me." Well, it says something like that, but in a snappier wording. Daily, actually hourly, teachers hear excuses that are supposed to stop their world and whatever is happening in it. We grow callous and it rolls off of our backs like ducks and water. (Sorry for the silly metaphor.)

Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows that my "emergency" generator is the DH. The man is an avowed technophobe and cannot even attach documents (or download them) to emails without constant step by step instructions. I know, I know both Anthypophora and Congolia are out there thinking the same thing about me, but when I remember to do it before I hit send, I can at least attach a file. Why does any of this matter?

It matters when on the one day a week I do not have to get up early, I get woken up by a constant barage of questions shouted across the house.
"How do I turn on your computer?"
"What is your password?" (It was the first clue that something was going wrong. My computer remembers my pass word.)
"My email's not here...maybe they (???) changed your password."
"I need these documents printed before I leave for the 8am class." (Not really, he just hasn't been to class and wants to demonstrate that he is doing something.)
And my favorite thing at the end of it all..."You didn't have to get up."
Really. I didn't have to get up.

This is after I spent an hour at 10:00pm last night explaining to him that he couldn't open docx documents with his Window 2003 account and he kept repeating, "But where's the Chlamydia (read docx) document?"
Don't worry, none of us have STDs. The DH is doing an intership at the health department. Part of his current work is to translate STD fact sheets. Actually, the internship has been good. I'm pretty sure that after watching genital warts get burned off of people he will never cheat on me. Apparently it looks pretty gross and painful. Grown men cry.

My Time...

2009-04-13T10:21:00.003-04:00

Although I've resisted the impluse to "live like I am dying" and take of on some bungee jumping, sky diving spree, I am pretty aware of the value of my time.

It's not that I always spend it wisely. If I did, I'd have that stupid prospectus done along with a few chapters. Oh well. The fact is that I am aware of how I need to budget my time and, aside from In-law visits and work men crawling all over my house, I've been pretty good about keeping my teaching time. Right now I'm on a MWF schedule. I've managed to keep almost all my grading and course prep to those times. On the latest schedule this week is set aside for individual conferences. On Friday I put out a sign-up sheet for those conferences. Since it is the end of the semester and I have such a small class, I've been able to alot 1hr for each conference. I asked the students to bring a draft of a part of their project and an ouline for the presentation due next week. I intended to run these sessions like Writing Center appointments - we could really work with anything.

When I got here at 9:30am I checked my email. The student who has today's 11 appointment wants to reschedule because she just found out she doesn't have class until 7:30 tonight so doesn't want to come from Raleigh until then. It's now 10:33 and my first ten am appointment is a now show. Now I don't have anything until 1:00pm. If I had know that I could have taken my time getting ready this morning or taken the dog for a walk or, even, just picked my nose.

Seriously. I am pissed. I have other things I could be doing.

It's raining. It's pouring.

2009-04-10T13:16:00.001-04:00

Well, it's not pouring yet, but it did start to sprinkle.

I've never been so glad to see rain because it meant that I could stop mowing the lawn. I've been walking around to work out a little bit, but man I think I'm going to be sore tomorrow. You know, I don't even think I can muster up a, "At least I can still mow the lawn." attitude. There's really nothing good about it except when you can stop.

This morning at the grocery store there was a deal on soda. Buy two cases of Pepsi products and if you spend $25 on anything else you get three more cases of soda for free. It was a good deal because the DH drinks a lot of diet Mt. Dew and I was planning to do a big shop anyway. So, for one of my "free" options, I got diet sierra mist Ruby Splash. It's Sierra mist with Grapefruit flavor. It's really good. I didn't realize until after the DH brought me a can, that I'm not supposed to have grapefruit. First, I don't believe there is any real grapefruit juice in the soda. Also, I checked the lable on the can and there is no real juice of any kind listed. I think I'm safe, but I won't drink anymore until I figure it out for sure. I hope I can still drink this stuff, because I can already tell it's going to be refreshing this summer.

New Philosophy

2009-04-10T08:28:00.002-04:00

Now that I'm working on the prospectus/dissertation it feels like I can really begin thinking about the job market, which means thinking about fun stuff like my teaching philosophy.

This is hard for me. Remember, I am the girl who went into therapy and said I have no goals. Of course I started teaching without a really good teaching philosophy. About 4 years ago when I did my first year to teaching at the community college I wrote a teaching philosophy. Sure it need to be fixed, but I am surprised at how much it works. You know for someone Facebook says is Sharon Crowley I get alot of mileage out of Mina Shaughnessy.

My teachinging philosophy, like all my syllabi, begin with this quotation. "The experience of studenthood is the experience of being just so far over one's head that it is both necessary and possible to work at survival." - Mina Shaughnessy.

It works for me. Once the students get past the 'weirdness' of student hood we talk about how that sentence gives us both responsibility. They have to work at survival. I have to make sure the bar is not too high or too low. My teaching philosophy throws some jargonistic turns into that mix, but it basicaly says the same thing. Now, I need to look at it again and make sure it is something I want the whole world to see.

Here is a good writing moment for me. I will show you the shitty first draft and you can help me put it all together. Oh, and just so you know, shitty is a technical term. :)

Teaching Philosophy

‘The experience of studenthood is the experience of being just so far over one’s head that it is both realistic and necessary to work at survival.’ –Mina Shaughnessy

My teaching philosophy begins with a statement of studenthood because as a teacher I help to form that experience of studenthood. As a teacher, I am also always a student. As a student my best experiences were always those in which I had to really work to accomplish the goal set for me, but that work was within my abilities. As a teacher, I can control how far over student’s heads I set their goals. It is my responsibility to make that goal realistically attainable. I am responsible for helping to craft the experience of studenthood.

I can craft the experience of studenthood both through the assignments I give and the environment in which I give them. Sometimes ‘being just so far over one’s head’ means that to survive you need the help of others. I strive to make my classroom a learning community, a community in which students work together to learn and help each other reach their goals. In a learning community it is easier for students to ask for and get the help they might need from each other to survive. In a composition class, where many students are new to the university or college setting, it is especially important to establish a sense of community within the classroom so that students do not feel they are struggling alone.

Part of the experience of studenthood is being able to recognize when you have achieved a goal. For that reason, I require students to keep an expanding portfolio of their work. At the end of the semester they will have physical proof of the work they have accomplished. This physical proof can help keep them motivated when they move on to the next semester and the goals seem too far over their heads again.

What you get...

2009-04-09T08:19:00.002-04:00

It's never been a good idea to be smug, or to announce that you feel smug. If you do, then the universe knows to knock the wind out of your sails.

I didn't know or follow the Spohrs and I cannot imagine the depth of their grief. I'm in tears just sitting here and knowing and seeing the pain of so many people I read.

Smug

2009-04-07T09:36:00.002-04:00

Smug is exactly how I feel. It's ridiculous that I should feel this good about doing something I am actually supposed to do EVERYDAY! Seriously, people I just need to write this damned thing.

Oooh and tonight I get to go see Neko Case. It's the first concert I've been to in 7 years. How sad is that?

Excuse me while I go read some comp theory.

Unsung

2009-04-06T20:21:00.001-04:00

Today I realized that I don't give the kittehs enough quality blog time.

The longest day...

2009-04-06T17:14:00.002-04:00

There've been longer days. There are days I've spent more time on campus, but man this day feels long. The good part is that when I finally go home...two hours from now I will get to cross a couple of things off my to do list. Woo Hoo.

Today, I actually had time to leave the building for an hour. I'm not sure if that was good or not. Maybe I wouldn't feel so trapped in here if I'd never left.

The love of my life...

2009-04-05T18:48:00.004-04:00

I tried to get a good shot of how tall this guy is right now, but he moves to much.

This shot was just too cute. I usually can't get his eyes.

Randomness

2009-04-05T09:26:00.003-04:00

There is stuff floating around in my ether, but I don't feel motivated to write whole posts.

It's impossible to walk two dogs at once.
Moshe is all legs. It makes him gonky like a teenage boy.
Is there a way to save BYRadio shows to my ipod?
If I am home all the time, why is the house such a mess? Really.
Why can't I write what I'm supposed to?
I want money to open a drive-through coffee stand. (I know the perfect spot.)
I read all day yesterday and still feel like I could put the book down at any moment.
In my head I've cast myself and Noah Wylie. Watching the ER finale made me remember how cute he is.
I need a themed-day, but I don't know what yet. You know, like Wordless Wednesday or something, but no pictures- at least no pictures of me.
My own professionalism or lack thereof.
What do I really believe about my little corner of this profession? How would I articulate myself to search committees?

Late to the Conversation....

2009-04-04T15:35:00.004-04:00

Dr. Heidi posted a link to Thomas H. Benton's Chronicle article about turning prospective graduate students away from the humanities. While I agree with Dr. Heidi that Benton's dismissal of emotion is problematic I would NEVER encourage anyone to go to graduate school.

The woeful state of the job market is just the most rational reason not to enter this profession. Every other reason has to do with the fact that at one point in my life I loved to learn for the sake of learning. During the MA portion of my program that love was fostered and grew. During the last four years the life has been slowly and surely sucked out of my love of learning.

Sure, I went in to this project a little naive, but everyone does. It's impossible to understand the realities of graduate school until you live them. What Benton doesn't seem to realize is that the "rhetoric of sentimentality" is not about the "love of graduate school" and does not stem from a position of naivite or privilege.

As I believe I've discussed before Ouiser and I are working class girls. Getting to this point in our lives was neither easy nor expected of us. We routinely sit on my deck and talk ourselves out of throwing our hands up and quitting. We are torn because this pursuit forces us to make painful choices regarding our family, choices no one 'privileged' would have to make. We stick with it because we are stubborn old Cajun women (one of us truly Cajun and the other adopted). We stick with it because we enjoy at least part of what we do. We are not naive. We are not privileged. We cling to 'loving' what we do because it is all we have left. We speak about it all 'sentimentally' because it is the only lie we have left to tell ourselves.

Sunny Days...Chasin' the Clouds Away

2009-04-04T08:11:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was beautiful.
The amazing thing about yesterday, only one person was absent. Go Figure. Friday. Beautiful Weather. Tough Material.
Not so amazing was the girl who sat through my class visibly bored out of her mind and rolling her eyes. This is the same girl who sent me an angry email last week.
Everyone else in the class was with me, so it shouldn't matter. However, when your teaching it doesn't seem to matter if you have 99% of everyone's interest and attention, you physically need that one percent even if you loose the other 99% in the process.
I know all of that and still I felt like a dolt when class ended.

It was so nice last night, and there is no food in the house except for string cheese, I walked up to the bar for dinner. I took "The Historian" with me and slogged through another few chapters. Am I the only one who just cannot get into this book? That's not important.
What is important is the quality of mullet at the bar. It was truly a sight to behold. Dog the Bounty Hunter without gel. Minding my own business, reading and ignoring the 65 year old men, the mullet called to me. It forced me to look up and behold it's blond glory.

My special mullet radar stems from a former bar tender. He was the king of all bartenders. Perfectly tan, orange, with bleach blond hair he wore shorts all winter (in MN) and bartended like it was a jazzercize class. You might think I'm being mean, but he made the best cosmo ever and always gave me the extra. You see my bartender didn't just have a mullet. He had a duckbill that was ever so slightly grown out to include a collar length mullet. It's difficult to describe, but a wonder to behold.
In case you can't quite picture the duckbill, here is a visual aid.

The mullet really wasn't the highlight of the bar trip. Next to the bar is a great little middle eastern market. After dinner I stopped for some imported cream soda and almond nugat. The almond nugat is the highlight of the trip.

The best part of it all was to come home, drink cream soda, eat a couple of pieces of almond nugat and watch "The Sarah Connor Chronicles," which is a heck of a lot better than "Dollhouse."

6 Months

2009-04-03T11:43:00.002-04:00

How is it that the last six months of my life feel like they've been at least 6 years?

It probably has something to do with learning to walk and pee by myself again.
In fact, my recovery has been amazing. I think becuase my recovery has been so amazing, it's easy to forget where I was six months ago. The forgetting happens for myself and for everyone who sees me everyday. As I begin to do more and take on more, I look more like my old self and there is an expecatation that I should be doing even more.

While I joke all the time about using my "brain injury" as an excuse for stuff, the joke masks the fact that there are still somethings for which I still want an excuse. It's nothing concrete like not being able to add, or walk, or anything like that, but there are times when I want the consideration I used to get.

Of course all of that is at odds with my own need for independance. The point is that at six months the hardest part of the recovery is wanting to have my cake and eat it too.

2009-04-03T07:58:00.000-04:00

Wouldn't you think that if you are the one who needs to be to work; the one who thinks it takes half an hour to fill up the car, you might actually get your ass out of bed in time to do these things.

You don't know what you've got....

2009-04-02T19:43:00.002-04:00

I just got home from attending a talk by Dr. Chat. It was fun. Listening to him read from his latest book made me realize how much I miss coursework.

Well, let me rephrase that, I don't miss the seminar papers, but I miss seminar discussions. One problem I've faced as I try to put together a prospectus is that I am a social learner. I get my best ideas in conversation with others; and, try as you might, writing the dissertation is a lonely job.

This evening it was interesting to see Dr. Chat not do his best work. His presentation was rushed and dense and his delivery was terrible. Once the floor opened up to questions it was better, but man. I thought he knew better.

Changes...

2009-04-02T15:16:00.001-04:00

It's official; a Facebook Quiz told us so. The Cajun Princess is Ousier and I am Clairee. From now on we will be known as such.

It's time for a new name anyway. Someday is just not really name and since I will, hopefully, one day have my phd it's time it begin the name change. So, just call me Clairee and I will do my best Olympia Dukasis impression. As you've probably noticed I'm great with color commentary. The only small hang up is that I'm not a widow yet. Most of the time I'm happy about that, but these days my patience is being tried.

Lately the only good news to come out of these parts is that Moshe loves me best. Really. It's true. I'm the one who is usually home so he loves me best. Ha! He is the cutest dog ever. When he sits in my lap, he looks up at me like I'm the love of his life. I remember a time when the DH would look at me like that. Now it's all "Woman, fetch me my slippers."
Don't worry it's not all that dire. The DH and I are just still adjusting to our new situation. It takes time people.

The truly sucky news is that I applied for jobs at Starbucks and Borders today. I'm really hoping Borders will take me back. I liked my job there. It just sucks that I need two jobs right now. I'm supposed to have time to write, but it's just not possible. I know our Borders is struggling, so keep your fingers crossed for me. Starbucks is Starbucks. There are certain places I want to work in town and if I can't get into those stores, it's just not worth it for me.

I know, I know. I'm not supposed to say that on the internet, but it's true. I worked there long enough to know who the different store managers are and which of them has a management style I can work with and which doesn't. It's about knowing myself, not a reflection on the company.

Surprises

2009-04-01T18:24:00.000-04:00

The kids did alright. Of course they were a little freaked out by the vocabulary, but really they did okay.

One student, even mentioned having Dr. Snarky before. I miss her.

Sogginess

2009-04-01T11:23:00.003-04:00

Apparently it's raining outside. I wouldn't know. I've been in this building since 9:00am. Sure, it had started to rain by then, but it was definitely hanging around. It's too bad I don't have a window, because I could enjoy a day like this.

First, what was I thinking?! I assigned a book that is too hard for my students, which means now I have to teach it. Yuck. Plus, I think many of the 12 students took my advice not to buy the book in the first week as advice to not buy the book ever. Now they are all up in arms becuase the bookstore doesn't have the book anymore. Oh yeah, I am looking forward to pulling teeth this afternoon.

Second, there is a meeting today about grading. I should be there to find out what the new DC is thinking, but I just can't handle it. I got a copy of the pretty circles representing all of our grades and that was enough to make me vomit in my throat.

Trust me, I am not a fan of grade inflation. It kind of irritates me that the grade were so high my courses from last semester. But, really, what were my surrogatres supposed to do? "Hey, I'm not your teacher, but I'm going to fail you anyway." Nope, they did what they could with what they had and I'm grateful for that.

There are just other issues surrounding this meeting that bother me. They bother me greatly. Also, I've said it before and I'll say it agian. I am no longer doing ANYTHING for this department, even if it's just attending meetings that are not mandatory.

On a more positive note, I did write a little today. I just had to stop when I found myself typing the word "miscreant." It's not that the word didn't fit; it was just the pomposity of it all.

Adieu SMarch

2009-03-31T20:08:00.002-04:00

I know there are important birthdays in Smarch and I am thankful for those. Otherwise, I hate SMarch. I will be glad to see it go and if I get a computer worm tomorrow, I won't blame April. I will blame SMarch.

Good Vibes

2009-03-29T13:30:00.002-04:00

I'm not at liberty to give the whole news, but everyone say little prayer, think a good thought, or light some incense for the Redneck Mommy and her family.

All of the people....

2009-03-28T20:20:00.003-04:00

When I checked my email this morning, I had a message from an irate student. Great way to start the day, isn't it?

The worst part of it all is that she was right. She felt like I'd taken over the discussion. It was true, I had. She felt that my actions made all the work she and her partner put into the assignment useless. Hmm...I'm not sure how I feel about that one, because, while I respect this student, her partner is bordering on dum-dum status. I assured her that I understood the situation and the work she put into the project. Here's the deal. They were supposed to discuss a prominent educational theorist and they were just using his work as a way to talk about their own work loads. They were not even close to discussing the author's main point about difference and academic language.

Here's where it gets tricky. Last week I asked them to write out the following:
I like it when Ms. Someday does......
I do not like it when Ms. Someday does.....
I wish we could.....

In direct response to that formula, I've made some changes. I've created a pre-reading study sheet for the next difficult work. I've put up some tentative grades on our course website. I've started writing the upcoming assignments on the board at the beginning of class. AND, I've participated more in the class discussions. I explained that my increased participation had nothing to do with preparedness, but was in response to student concerns (they didn't want the discussion to get off track).

I cannot please anyone ever.

Production Line...

2009-03-27T10:38:00.003-04:00

I finally read the Bauerlein piece and it's pretty standard fare for everyone who refuses to believe that there might already be something called Composition and that it is a valid field.

I agree with much of what Bauerlein says, but much of it is just a rehash of discussions that have already occured in Composition. Bauerlein says early on that his study and conclusions will focus on "language and literature teachers." Wow, that's great, but this article is really only about Literature teachers. (Capital L intended.)

Alright, so he plays in to the classic, and seemingly neverending, Lit/Comp divide. The larger issue with this study is the way he conflates all types of faculty, particularly adjunct factuly and graduate students. Sure, there are ways in which the two groups are the similar, but there are FUNDAMENTAL differences between adjunct and graduate student populations. Those differences change from department to department. In our department you could begin with pay. Graduate student are paid significantly less than adjunct faculty (here I think they are all called Lectureres.) The benefit to less pay, if there is one, is a lighter course load. Right now, one benefit to Grad Student status is less interference with your course. We talked about that yesterday.

Before Bauerlein is ignored completley, which would be a mistake, I need to acknowledge an important point. Bauerlein says,

The MLA Committee questions whether English and foreign language departments do, in fact, require publications for entry-level positions, but truth or falsity doesn't matter.

Bauerlin goes on to say that since graduates believe publishing matters they continue to publish. This is where there is more to say about this problem and possible solutions. This point also struck home for me. At the end of Spring Break I had to send an email turning down the opportunity to write a book chapter. I put off that decision as long as possible becuase I understood that it meant not having a significant publication on my CV. I guess only time will tell how that will affect my ability to find a job.

Carnivalesque

2009-03-26T10:17:00.003-04:00

This section of the Teaching Carnival is good. I want to tangetially comment on Collin Brooke's response to Mark Bauerlein. Let me say first that I agree with Collin. This is not a commentary on his argument. The reliance on a contingent work force is detrimental to any University in a number of ways. However, I want to speak to a trend in our department, because, while I have no proof, I suspect it is happening elsewhere. Also, I'm reading Bauerlein's piece right now and hopefully I'll have more to say about it soon.

Okay, while I agree that the reliance on contingent workers is bad, bad, bad for the University and does affect the quality of course work, the assumption that accompanies those arguments is that the contingent workers are not good teachers. No one is overtly saying that, but too often the connection between the increase in contingent workers and the decrease in "quality of instruction" is left unexamined. When left unexamined the faulty conclusion is that contingent workers are poor instructors. To get to the root of the problem - course numbers, outside pressures, job security, assessment, etc. it is necessary to look harder and longer than someone outside of composition might.

It's no secret that there are big changes afoot in my department. Some of them I don't mind, other's impinge on my ability to design and teach my course. Formerly the attitude of this department towards graduate students was to treat us like colleagues but to give us a little more protection. Since the lecturers in our department are mostly former graduate students they received the same kind of treatment. (Please note 'Formerly') In the desire to make our courses more uniform, to simplify assessment, and more 'transparent,' the desire to allow us to design our own courses and learn from our mistakes has gone by the wayside. All of this change comes from good intention and since I'm in my dissertation writing phase (I hate making dissertation a verb) I'm taking a "keep my head down and get out" approach to the situation.

In fact most of the changes being made have not come from concerns about how graduate students design/teach their courses, but about how the Lecturers design/teach their courses. For a number of reasons, unclear expectations, mushy accountability, a rotating person of authority, the department has developed an anxiety about what goes on in the Lecturer's classroom. (Insert 'contingent labor' for Lecturer and you can see how this is a product of the argument above.) Some things about our department that influence this.

The Associate Head, who directly oversees lecturers is a position held by Literature faculty.
It is a position that rotates every 2-3 years. (I'm not sure about the exact number.)
While the Associate Head works closely with the Director of Composition, there is no visible accountability to the Composition Program, even though Lecturer's mostly teach Composition courses.
Lecturer's are primarily former MFA students and/or Literature graduate students.

Recently, through the CP and Small Lake's efforts, the lit graduate students successfully argued that there should be an "Assistant to the Associate Head" position that mirrored the Assistant to the Director of Composition position that I used to hold. It would allow literature students have similar experience scheduling, managing a group of employees, which would possibly give the literature students an edge on the market. The problem is that both the current Associate Head and the current Director of Composition are micromanagers. They've managed to completely undermine both positions. (Yes, that is also a different post all together.)
The result of all of this is that the Associate Head is using her assistant to do things like walk around campus and make sure that all of the Lecturers are really holding their Friday class sessions. Seriously.

I'm not saying this kind of hall monitoring is happening everywhere. What I want to say is that if we are not careful to reiterate the systemic reasons why the reliance on contingent labor leads to a lower quality of classroom instructions, the misuse of that information leads to the kind of anxiety currently circulating in our department.

Great ideas and good intentions...

2009-03-25T22:20:00.004-04:00

Today there was a meeting, a meeting I fully intended to be at and then was entirely glad that I missed. (I showed up, grabbed food, and went back to my desk.) I thought the meeting was to discuss a Cs (college composition and communication conference) panel for next year. Instead, it was a how to write a proposal session. Sure, there are people who need that, but not me. I'm not saying that every proposal I write gets accepted, but I've been down the road a few times and it is all b-a-n-a-n-a-s.

Initially I didn't intend to submit this year, I've got this little thing called a dissertation to write. But, since the stupid conference isn't until next March, I guess I've got time. The theme for next year is "The Remix: Revisit, Rethink, Revise, Renew." I'm thinking I'll submit a paper about the remix currently happening in our department.

My original idea was a panel Dr. Belle, me, Dr. Lead, and a first year grad student - someone who doesn't know the halcyon days of old. If, and I mean IF, everyone could put aside their egos and not make it a blame game, then I think it would be a great panel. As it is, I'm not going to put myself in the precarious position of suggesting, writing, and presenting such a thing. I'm just going to write my own paper proposal and leave it at that.

Explanation

2009-03-24T20:55:00.005-04:00

Here's the deal. Helo was not my favorite BSG character, although I'm glad he lived. Sure he had his moments, but eh, which was my reaction to the whole BSG cast. I tried explaining that to everyone else....I did not watch BSG for the eye candy.

There are actually plenty of other shows I watch for eye candy and then I am just disappointed when I realize that all the men I'm attracted to remind me of the DH in some way. It's a sickness...trust me.

What I'm trying to explain is that when I say I developed a cruch on Tahmoh Penikett last night. It's true. It was a sudden inexplicable thing. Honestly, most of the time, I think he looks a little stunned. However, there was something about his fight scene with Echo that changed everything for me. Wait, wait, wait...before everyone gets their panties in a bunch, I was not turned on by the image of him hitting a girl, I was turned on by the way he would stride back into the fight. It was weird. There were just two or three fleeting seconds when he would turn and wade back into the brawl that just worked for me. Okay, and it did help that he spent a lot of the episode shirtless.
I cannot deny the power of the arms. I like arms.

Anyway, much like I fell into lust with Tahmoh. Poor guy, I'm sure he is the perfect active for many women. The show clicked for me last week. For the first time, there was something more to it all than the "Let's see who Echo is this week" aspect of all the other shows. I may not agree with every choice, but now I am interested in the characters and how each of them will be manipulated throughout this story. Before, I was just hanging in there for Reed Diamond, who was my least favorite H:Lots cast member.

Still Awake

2009-03-24T17:23:00.002-04:00

In spite of trying to nap throughout the day, I am still awake.

I planned to expand my Dollhouse review, but I don't think it would make any more sense. The MiL and I went shopping today. It was a good time. She got a cute pair of shoes.

Now we are just waiting for the DH to come home. I hope his day was better than Monday.

Latenight

2009-03-24T04:25:00.004-04:00

Here's to another late night.

I really need to get my prescription filled or at least buy some Night time Tylenol.

My in-laws are here. It's fun to see them, which we will actually get to do often this year. Tonight I finally got to watch this week's Episode of Dollhouse. Everyone who said not to judge the show until this episode was right. Hopefully it will all be like this. The tone was darker and more intense. For some reason, maybe the late hour, I also just developed a huge Tamoh Pennikett crush.

Spoiler

The documentary meta-commentary was okay, but hopefully it was a one-off thing. First. I try not to get all worked up about the prostitution business, but sometimes they just don't let it go. That Echo wanted to "finish" her engagement was gross. Just gross people, no matter what you are trying to do. Oh, and does someone in every show have to be raped? The story line was okay in terms of the trust between the active and handler, but the abuse story line masked the fact that every time an active is implanted and/or sent out on a job it is rape and abuse. I'm also sad that Melanie is an active. I think that was an unnecessary twist. Finally, we need more Romo Lampkin.

Grading? Who needs grading?

2009-03-23T11:23:00.002-04:00

I'm using the in-laws visit as a way to postpone the inevitable. I didn't grade anything this weekend. You know, the dread of grading isn't any less when you only have 12 things to grade. I should have this done in two hours, but of course the less items to grade, the more I feel like I should "spend time" on each one. This is not an assignment I'd like to spend time on.

My mailbox contained some lovely surprises for me this morning. Dr. Belle left the latest version of my prospectus with her comments. I haven't looked at them, but I swear you can read my printing anymore there are so many comments. One of my office mates even glanced at the first page and said, "Oh my gosh!" Then she tried to tell me so many comments were good. Ha!
I just cannot bring myself to look at them. Avoiding the prospectus will probably be the only thing to get me to grade stuff.

I wish, wish, wish I could cancel class today. Alas, I can't do that. We are on a tight schedule now that the semester is almost over. Speaking of ending the semester, I need to spend some time planning my summer class. I've never done a 5 week, 2 hrs a day course before.

Okay, I'm pretty much done whining now.

Grading, Identity, and In-laws...

2009-03-21T12:37:00.003-04:00

The In-Laws are almost here. They are only about 20 miles away. It will be fun to have them visit, but I have a lot of school stuff to do.

By a lot of school stuff, I mean some grading, an assignment to write, and a helpful tip sheet to write. Don't forget I also need to work on my prospectus. It's hard to move from writer-based to reader-based prose.

Identity is a little more complicated. I'll save that topic for another time. I need to check the archives. What I want to say might already be here.

Ooooh, I think I hear the MiL on her phone.

Jinxes

2009-03-20T09:56:00.002-04:00

A few weeks ago I heard through the grapevine that people were wondering what the final hospital bill was. It seemed weird to me until I remembered these people had all donated money to help with that bill. Another time I will write about the strangeness of asking for/taking donations.

The point is that this week I sent out an email to everyone titled "Final Update." Belatedly, I realized I was ready for that. As much as I have said here (over and over) that I feel back to myself and completely normal, this time I really do. More importantly, this time I think everyone around me is starting to feel that way too.

While we drafted the email my friend asked if I should say that I am fully recovered. I told her I don't like to say that. Saying "I've fully recovered." feels like jinxing myself. I know that it really takes about a year to recover as much as you will from an injury like this; consequently, it feels like I may think I'm recovered now, only to discover something I can no longer do. Additionnally, it feels like a dare to the universe. Trust me I do not need another six months like the last six months. However, I think I've really gotten back to where I was. A filter was lost there somewhere and I swear a little too much, but other than that, there are no lasting effects of my condition. In fact, some friends are coming to visit in May. It will be a year since they've seen me and I don't think they will be able to tell anything has happened.

The odd part to me is that even now everyone wants to attribute my recovery to something I did. How much, or how little, I recovered was decided well before I ever woke up. I'm just reaping the benefits.

2009-03-19T19:20:00.002-04:00

Ignore this.

Natasha Richardson....

2009-03-19T10:47:00.002-04:00

Natasha Richardson's story is a sad one and it hits close to home. My stroke, while not of the bleeding variety, is one that can happen after a brain injury. In fact, one of the things all the doctors wanted to know was if I'd had any recent trauma to my head or neck.

If you've been around here long, you know that making light of my stroke is one way that I deal with it all. Since I spend a lot of time joking about it all it is easy to forget the seriousness of it all. Stories like that of Natasha Richardson remind me of my own brush with death.

It's hard to explain, but I wasn't in pain. I didn't see a white light. When I was most sick, I was concerned about everyone else. I didn't know I'd had a stroke until the DH told me. (And he says he had to tell me many times.) So while the DH and CP had to deal with the fact that I was nearly dead; I didn't have to deal with that fact. It is especially weird to think about all of this when I have recovered so well.

Choices....

2009-03-17T20:32:00.001-04:00

Please go read this.

Fishing Mondays

2009-03-16T12:03:00.001-04:00

Here's an article from Stanley Fish. It's interesting, especially if you go back and read the previous column.

Back On Track

2009-03-15T13:17:00.005-04:00

This week while I lounged around the house reading mystery novels and crocheting, I should have been revising my course. Really. I just spent the last couple of hours revising our schedule and grade break down for the rest of the semester. I didn't want to mess with the grade percentages, but if I hadn't there would have been too much to do for the rest of the semester. Some people are not going to like the changes, but over all I've been as fair as possible.

The problem is that now I have to write three new assignments. One I thought I'd already adapted from an old assignment, but nope. They are all related, so I think if I just do the adaptation I'd planned, the other two assignments will flow out of it naturally. The problem is that the magic assignment juice is just not flowing today. Maybe it's the weather.

Part of the problem is I just don't feel like trying to presuppose student questions, which is the essence of assignment writing.
I know that a well written assignment is supposed to be easy for the students to follow, incorporate elements of the rubric, and all of that junk that let's them know what you expect; but, really, I just want to give them the one sentence version and let them have at it. "In 7 - 10 minutes tell the class about the Snowball you've designed." It's not that hard. I really don't expect anything else.

What does 7 - 10 minutes really mean? What if I'm at 6 minutes 45 seconds? Will you time us?
Will we have to stand infront of the class?
Do we have to use sources?
What do you mean "tell"?
Should I use a Powerpoint presentation?
You mean, you actually meant it all those times you said we'd have to design a Snowball? I didn't know this class was about that.

I pretty much guarantee I'll hear each of these questions...including some version of the last one, and it makes me want to bash my head into a wall. Today is just not the day for me to tease out the one page version of that sentence. It's not that some of these aren't valid questions, they are. Normally I enjoy assignment writing, I'm just frustrated with myself for being in this situation.

It's that time in the semester when you start day-dreaming about the next course and how much better it will be. Hopefully, with the exception of my comps semester, my students don't realize I am as ready as they are to be done with the class.

Update: Assignments done!

Half time

2009-03-13T17:04:00.002-04:00

It's almost over. I needed this Spring Break more than any other. It's almost gone and I've nothing to show for it. Well, I can't really complain about that. It was my intention. The only thing I haven't gotten done is cleaning my room. The puppy has torn it apart and I cannot bring myself to clean it again.

Taking the week off worked well. Working on the prospectus doesn't seem like such a chore. I've also given some thought to restructuring what's left of the semester. This semester isn't a shining star in my teaching career. It hasn't sucked, but I definitley haven't put the time into my teaching that I should. It's nothing the students would have noticed, but it's bugging me. Hopefully, I'll be able to salvage the rest of the semester.

Spring Break

2009-03-12T19:37:00.000-04:00

Do I answer student emails over Spring Break?
Really. I received an email today. It is a kind of ridiculous question. BUT, it does show that the student is working on the assignment. Do I answer?

C'est Fini

2009-03-12T15:36:00.003-04:00

Here are pictures of the finished kitchen and bathroom. I cannot explain how much I love this new bathroom color. Later this summer, when it's nice enough to leave the windows open, I want to paint our bathroom this color.

The kitchen is currently a huge mess. I cannot face putting it all back together again just yet. I'm sure later this evening I'll get bored enough to do it.

Kitchen Update

2009-03-11T17:03:00.002-04:00

Here's the new kitchen color. This is just the first coat. Tomorrow they'll do the second coat and the bathroom upstairs.

Day 2 of my confinement

2009-03-11T09:12:00.002-04:00

The workmen are back to fix and paint the house. I get to hang out in the bedroom with the dogs. It's the easiest way to make sure the dogs stay out of the way.

The DH is back at work...with the car. To be fair he did offer to let me take him to work, but it's more of a hassle than its worth.

So, I'm stuck here in the bedroom with dogs, the television, and a lot of yarn.

Housework...

2009-03-10T17:09:00.005-04:00

<-If you remember, way back in September we had a lot of water damage. After much wrangling with contractors, insurance companies, and my stroke workers finally came to fix the house. Today they took down all the texture from the kitchen ceiling and fixed the damage underneath. Tomorrow they will spray texture on the ceilings and paint the kitchen and the bathroom. Paint. You need to plan for paint, right? Not me. I have tonight to pick a paint color for the upstairs bathroom. We've already decided to use the Khakhi color from our bedroom for the kitchen. It's a nice light, neutral color that will go well with the cabinets and the kitchen table.

Here you can see the Carolina Blue that is currently in the kitchen.
Remember the cleaning project. Here are some of the pictures. Really, we are not that messy, it's just a back up of laundry I piled up on the bed to sort.

If you can look beyond the laundry you'll see the light color we'll have put in the kitchen.
Here's what I accomplished.

We do have a nice comforter to put in the room. It's currently at the dry cleaners. The blanket you see here is the first comforter I ever picked out for my room. I think I was 16 at the time. We both love it.

Update

2009-03-09T11:56:00.002-04:00

Still cleaning. Really. I've been doing laundry for 3 days. The DH and I clearly have way too many clothes. I'd like to donate/purge, but I want to use this summer/fall to figure out what we really wear before I do that.

This clean is taking on a whole new level of urgency. My in-laws are coming in a couple of weeks. The last time they were here, when I was in the hospital, they did a huge clean. I figure I'd better have the place looking great by the time they get here.

Puppy Update:
Puppies are a lot like children they seem so small and then one day you look at them and it's like they've grown twelve feet over night. You can't really tell from the recent pictures, but Moshe's really growing. He's all legs right now. I swear we went to bed one night and he could still fit in the palm of your hand and the next morning he was 3 inches taller.
He is, however, still afraid to go down the stairs by himself. He can get up the stairs no problem, but whenever everyone goes down stairs he just sits at the top and whimpers. I don't get it.

Spring Cleaning...

2009-03-08T09:34:00.002-04:00

When I'm done I'll post before and after shots. Man there is a lot of work to do around here. If nothing else it will keep me busy while the DH works about 90 hours this week.

I find it kind of strange that I have an overwhemling urge to scrub the kitchen/dining room floor before the Terminix guy comes. Seriously, does he care what the floor looks like?

Electronic Boundaries

2009-03-07T09:42:00.004-05:00

It occurs to me that I've committed a faux pas. Like my students who forget to turn their phones off in the classroom, or send me ridiculously casual emails, I've forgotten the electronic boundaries; or, rather, I didn't think about what they might be prior to charging through them. So, like a dog with an electric fence, I've learned my lesson.

I can hear all of you now, "What?"

What I write here in blogspace is meant to be consumed. I'd be hard pressed to make an argument that anything I write here is "private." Heck, I don't even thing my anonymity is real, but I choose to maintain the facade just in case. Because I just joined and so many of the people I follow are bloggers, I'd forgotten that Twitter is a more private space. I should have known better. I joined it to continue a conversation with a friend on the other side of the country. Consequently, it was wrong of my to post about anything anyone else said there, especially since I knew the comment was not directed at me. So, Black Hockey Jesus, thank you for the recognition and not calling me out on such a blatant abuse of your privacy.

Watching the Watchmen

2009-03-07T07:50:00.002-05:00

Lastnight I went to see the Watchmen with a few friends. It was a 7:10 showing, so it was a bunch of people who really wanted to see the movie, but didn't want to be up until 3:00am to do so. Face it, these days there isn't much I'm going to wait in line for. I think these people all agreed with me.

The important thing for you to know is that I've only read the book once. Yup, once; and, while I liked the book, it left me feeling kind of let down. I could readily see why this book was so culturally important, but it was also confusing and not well written. Come on, tell the truth, did you read absolutely every word of Rorschach's journal? This is, I think the biggest weakness of the film. It relies to heavily on the comic book for script. When in the middle of watching the film it forces you out of the moment when you think, wait he just said what? Other than that, my only complaint was with the 300 style slow motion. It was cool when the Comedian gets thrown out the window, but after that the director need to learn the idea of "judicious" use. Oh, and he could do away with some gratuitous violence. I won't ruin it for anyone, but there are things I don't need to see. It's why I can't bring myself to watch OZ.

Here's the deal. I liked the film. I actually might have liked a shorter, less faithful, to the book version, but I'm not a fan-girl. What I actually want to say, is not so much about the film as it is about myself and the world. Me first, of course. This is not a criticism of the film, just something I found weird. It was strange for me to realize this film was making the majority of my life into a period piece. Yeah. It was strange to see the hair and the ray-bans and everything be so 70's. What's wrong with that? Nothing, but I think the reason Watchmen was such an influencial book was that at it's heart it's timeless. The threat and peril of the story are set at a certain time, but that threat and peril could easily be recast with more contemporary figures.

Threat and peril. Let's talk about that. In the years since 1991, our villanous landscape has changed. Moscow and Havana are not the centers for terror they once were. Even given the period piece ambiance of the film, it was weird to the the soviets as we did. I'm not sure how this will play with younger audiences, maybe it's the reason they made the film seem like such a period piece instead of trying to set it in some nebulous contemporary space.

What I cannot quite articulate are the cultural possibilities. World opinon about both the US and Russia has changed drastically over the last 18 years. (That makes me feel old.) I think there is something significant about our current willingness to accept the Soviets as such a threat. Of all the things that separate me from my students I think the biggest one is the Cold War. Most of my students have no concept of what it meant to live in a world where the premise behind Red Dawn seemed far-fetched, but plausible. It's not something I can adequately explain to them.
The Watchmen is such a product of the Cold War that I wonder if it's us-them mentality can survive, even as a period piece. The fear and angst of the time are reflected in all of the characters. Can you really understand the Comedian, Rorschach, Ozimandius (whatever) if you don't understand the Cold War that created them? Or, is there something about these characters that surpasses their time and place?

I pity the fool...

2009-03-06T16:06:00.003-05:00

If you do not live in the South East, I'm sorry. Really, I've lived many places and they all have their own beauty, but today. Today you should really live down here.
Do you remember Monday? Monday my back yard was a snow filled wonderland.

Today, just four short days later. I'm sitting on the couch with the back door open and my yard looks like a spring time wonderland.
See:

In fact, today is so beautiful that when only 3 of the 6 people who bothered to show up for class on time today had actually read the material I did not yell at them. I rescheduled today's presentation, talked for a bit, and let them all go early...without any snark. Since one of the people who didn't read spent the day looking bored out of her mind and practically asleep I did a really good job of avoiding snark.

To prove I'm still in a good mood, here are some puppy pictures.

Impending doom

2009-03-06T09:25:00.004-05:00

Class doesn't start until 1pm so I won't have a wreck analysis for you until then.

Until then, I have a story of woe, shame, and maybe vindication. Last night, one of my favorite bloggers Black Hockey Jesus posted a tweet telling all bloggers to stop with the boring lists. Now, while I follow his tweets, read The Wind in Your Vagina like it is crack cocaine and all of that I guarantee he does not know or care about my boring lists. You, however, are probably a different story. Consequently, I'll do my best not to post lists. Sometimes, a girl has to do what a girl has to do.

In lieu of list is going to be a BHJ/Dooce style bid for recognition. I think BHJ is still working on his quest for recognition from the almighty Dooce. I'm going to aim my sites differently and work for Black Hockey Jesus recognition. Hey, maybe he'll even send me a ghost or an imaginary friend or just some of those hip thong panties. Watch out Lucy, I love Calamari.

I know I'm not in the lofty, windy heights of Black Hockey Jesus bloggerdom; and, I don't even have kids. What I do know is that I understand his post-modern, existentially influenced philosophical view of the world. I just don't quite have to poetry to express in the same way. So, Black Hockey Jesus, in the immortal words of Laura Roslyn, "I AM COMING FOR ALL OF YOU!"

Disgruntled...

2009-03-05T19:45:00.002-05:00

Just so you know the "DH is wonderful" honeymoon period is over. He really pissed me off today.
The CP knows all about it and listened patiently. Sometimes it is just necessary to vent and I thought it was better not to do it too publicly.

In a spurt of new-leaf-itis I actually wrote and worked out today. Insanity, I know. I'll pay for it tomorrow if I find time to make it to the writing center.

I cannot wait for the train-wreck that will happen in my class tomorrow. Yes, I know already that it will be a train wreck. See, there is this assignment in which pairs of student are assigned to lead 10-15 minutes of discussion on a particular reading. When the students are done, I usually pick up the discussion and make sure the salient points are covered. Tomorrow, the quietest kid in the class and the most privileged kid in class are the discussion leaders. There is some law of physics that guarantees this will suck. The truly sad part of it all is that I don't care. I'm as ready for break as the next guy.

Off my chest...

2009-03-04T19:59:00.002-05:00

...and the top of my head. Today, I gave a guest lecture in my friend Mags' class. It is an intro to narrative class and right now they are reading/discussing "My Stroke of Insight." As the resident stroke expert, I agreed to talk to her class.

When I agreed to this, I didn't think it would be that big of a deal. I talk in front of classes all the time. I've been various shades of nervous for the last week. I was nervous for so long because of the snow delay. I was supposed to talk to them all on Monday.

Anyway, I got through it. I didn't even cry. Well, almost, but no a tear was shed and I don't think anyone noticed. Mags has been frustrated by this class, but they asked some really good questions. Maybe I should start charging speaking fees.

A Beautiful Thing...

2009-03-04T09:36:00.003-05:00

Most of the time I lament the state of my imagination. It's alive and kicking. It's just not very interesting. Really, I can imagine the hell out of anything I've seen or heard, embellishing it until it fits the state of my life. However, I've never been able to make something whole out of nothing. It's like I only got half of the creative gene. Anyway most of the time it gets me down, but every once in a while it satisfies my every need.

When I have my iPod with me and playing something other than a book on tape, I like to imagine it is the soundtrack to my life. Whatever song is playing either reminds me of something or puts me in another mood. I walk faster, taller, and stronger when I listen to Pearl Jam or Soul Coughing. My best writing is done to the Bach Cello Concertos played by Pablo Casals. You get the idea. I assume this is what everyone does with their iPod.

Sometimes a song will play that is actually from a soundtrack of either a television show or movie. I remember the scene, the moment, whatever happened at that time. When I really want to kick some ass, or I just need some good energy, I play "Super Bon Bon." Suddenly I am Frank Pembleton kick in the doors of strip clubs hunting down Steve Buscemi. By the time the song is over and/or I've made it to class I'm ready to face the energy-sucking life force of 22 19 year olds. Just after Christmas I purchased some new music and my current kick-ass song is "Girlfriend" by Matthew Sweet. I didn't ever have the album or anything, but I love the song. It makes me remember being 19 and living in Bellingham (the good parts anyway.)

The other song in heavy rotation is "Beautiful Way" by Beck. The H:LOTS folks used it a couple of times. The last time I remember was in the movie, just before Timmy blows up the entire world. Don't worry that wasn't a spoiler, but if you've seen the movie you know what I mean. When I walk down the hall listening to "ooooh, it's a beautiful way to break your heart" Tim and Frank walk with me. I'm invincible. It's pretty cool, even if I do borrow the characters from somewhere else. It helps me get through the long days in the prison of my cubicle.

Bloggerific

2009-03-03T08:43:00.000-05:00

This post has been rattling about my brain for a couple of days now, but usually I’m not at the computer when I think about it.

While I’m pretty sure I don’t use it to its full capacity (a feeling I have about all things technical) it’s probably a good thing because the google reader has made me a lazy blog reader. Yup, it’s true. When I signed up I figured I’d just put the folks I made sure to check every day (or, you know, multiple times a day). I thought I’d still check in on everyone else and who really wants LOLcats clogging up their reader. The problem is I don’t really check up on anyone else. In the morning I sit down with my coffee, pretend to write for a bit, and then open the google reader. I check in on everyone and then I’m done. The time that I used to waste clicking through my favorites is gone, because about half the list is no longer included in my daily routine. I barely remember to check my lj anymore, let alone to post there.

Why not just add blogs to my reader?

Well, because I do like the current configuration. I’m still reading the most important blogs, just not so many. And, honestly, I should be doing more productive things with my time.

Haunted Garage...

2009-03-02T21:47:00.001-05:00

The story begins with my Mother-in-Law. She has a long history of finding things like fart machines and the Billy Bass funny. I think the best present I ever got her was a whoopy cushion.

About 2 years ago my MiL sent us the Santa Pig. It's a plush pig dressed like santa, AND when you pull it's tail it says, "Oink, oink, oink...Oink, Oink, Oink" to the tune of jingle bells. Needless to say it drove Yasser mad. So, every year for Christmas we bring out the pig for a few hours and let Yasser have at it. Just the sight of it puts Yasser into a frenzy. Over the years, the pig has gotten a little worse for ware. His Santa suit is loosing some of it's sparkle. You can't always get the music to start...or stop. In December I'll try to get some video of Yasser and Moshe finishing him off.

So, every once in a while, in the last two days, when we open the garage door the pig, tucked away in the box of Christmas decorations, will be oinking. It is just about the creepiest thing ever. It's not motion sensitive...you really have to pull on the tail to get it to Oink. Just now, at 9:45pm I was going to go out and get a soda, but I opened the door and there was Oinking. I shut the door, locked it, and made Bradley go out there.

I'm not messing with the Satan Pig.

Promotion

2009-03-02T20:33:00.003-05:00

A good friend of mine runs this site. You should check it out. He's funny most of the time.

Record Breaking Heresy

2009-03-02T15:57:00.003-05:00

I just want to see how many posts I can put up in one day. Plus, this way I can at least truthfully tell people I spent the day writing.
So, it's been three weeks. It's hardly enough time to tell if a show is going to make it or not, but it seems like it's been enough time to comment on Dollhouse.

Let me start by saying I like Joss Whedon's stuff. Like. Although I've rhapsodized about certain elements of Angel, I'm not a huge fan. I think other shows, like BSG, the Wire, and H:LOTS, have approached similar ideas differently and better. What?! You say it's not fair to compare the Whedonverse to such dramatic shows, but I think it is. At it's heart the Whedonverse takes some heavy topics, adds vampires or space, and a little comedic element to make it all palatable.

Dollhouse attempts to loose the less realistic factors of the Whedonverse and just give all out drama, which is where I think it goes wrong. The show actually needs to be darker. It needs a little of BSGs bleakness. The wise cracking characters in Dollhouse seem out of place with everyone and everything else. I'm willing to suspend belief. I don't need any explanations of the science, but in this case I need it to at least be serious. If other characters don't take their world seriously, why should I? A darker, bleaker world might also help me to feel more sympathetic to the "dolls" when they are no programmed. Right now the world they inhabit appears so plush and rosy that I am not as alarmed for them as I should be.

Here is the other issue. The show feels rushed. I know, I know I am supposedly a more sophisticated viewer and I can handle multiple plot lines; but, maybe I don't want to. It seems like there is a need to get too much of the mystery out there too soon. I know Whedon's had problems with Fox before (Firefly), but he seems driven to get all the mystery out there right now. I can't quite keep up. In fact, I need to go back to the third episode because I am still not sure how Tamoh Penikett's character got shot.

In short, I like the show, but I think it needed to be on SciFi or HBO or some other channel where it could have been darker and less rushed.

Proverbial bull...

2009-03-02T14:39:00.003-05:00

It is a beautiful, snowy day here in Someday land. It beautiful because it doesn't happen here that often, which means whenever it does snow there is bound to be a day off. This semester has had it's share of late starts. Since I don't teach until 1:00pm, those do not normally affect me. Today, however, today they just cancelled the whole day. Woo Hoo! I got an extra, much needed day off.

Of course, I began badgering the DH to take me out. It's really not that bad on the main roads, but a lot of areas are without power. As we got ready to go out, I went into the back yard to play around. I stood under the deck umbrella to hit the snow and make it fall off. Unfortunately, doing that, caused an imbalance in the umbrella. The whole table began to tip over and when the umbrella stalk hit the glass of the table it shattered. Yup. Shattered. It's all over the deck. I tried to clean it up, but I think I have to wait for the snow to melt. This kind of thing only happens to me. I broke the deck table in the middle of winter.

I'm so sad. Now, we don't have a deck table. I guess we'll have to start trolling the ailses at Home Depot and Big Lots.

Snow Da y Cuteness

2009-03-02T10:11:00.006-05:00

As you've probably heard, the world has come to an end south of the Mason-Dixon. The great part of living down here is the occasional "Snow Day" when everything shuts down. Unless you work at the grocery store, you get the day off. Here are some pictures of snow and animals to get us through the day.
This is a momentous occassion. Yasser and Moshe have been playing together, but Yasser is a grumpy little bastard when he sleeps. He even growls at us for moving. Consequently, this is the closest they've ever been when relaxing. AND Yasser moved there voluntarily.

Puppies first big snow. I think it is actually as deep as his belly. Whatever it is, he doesn't like it much.

The sun is out. The sky is blue. It is truly a GORGEOUS day.

Weather Update...

2009-03-01T20:41:00.002-05:00

It is finally snowing. Snowing hard.

Sunday, rainy sunday...

2009-03-01T11:23:00.003-05:00

It isn't snowing yet, so much for 4-6 inches, but it is icy. The poor willow tree in the back yard is covered in ice. I can hear the wind and the rain. All the animals are on their own today, no walks, no company in the yard. I am not stepping a foot outside of the house.

Tomorrow I have to go back to school for one week and then Spring Break! I wish it were next week, I am so unenthused about it all. On Friday, in a conference I almost told a student that she was absolutely correct. She has nothing to say. Don't worry, I was a good teacher. I'd never really say anything like that. Fortunately this week is full of presentations and I don't have to do much. Well, tomorrow, I'm giving a presentation of my own. One of my colleagues asked me to speak to her class. The class is reading My Stroke of Insight, so I'm going to tell them about my own stroke experience. I'm a little nervous about it all, but I said I would do it.

Anyway, since there is not much going on here today, I give you a meme. (I just assume these are "favorites." It didn't come with instructions.

A
- Available: for teaching
- Age: non-linear
- Annoyance: People
- Animal: (s) too many
- Actor: Huge Ackman
- Actress: Kate Winslet

B
- Beer: good
- Birthday: September 2nd
- Best Friend: Hamish & the CP
- Body Part on opposite sex: Wrists
- Best feeling in the world: Clean Sheets
- Best weather: Sitting on the deck weather
- Been on stage?: Not enough

C
- Car: Scarlette
- Candy: Chocolate & Nuts
- Cried in school: Not yet, working on keeping it that way
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Depends
- Chinese/Mexican: Vietnamese
- Cake or pie: Cake
- Country to visit: Czech Republic

D
- Day or Night: Night
- Dream vehicle: Vespa
- Dance: Not enough

E
- Eggs: Yes
- Eyes: Brown
- Everyone has: A bellybutton
- Ever failed a class?: Nope

F
First crush: Mark something or other....I was told. The first I remember Chris Tomzack
- Full name: Somedayphd
- First thoughts waking up: Damn Puppy

G
- Greatest Fear(s): Burning
- Goals: Who needs them?
- Gum: I don't like to chew gum much anymore.
- Get along with your parents?: Usually
- Good luck charm: Clearly I need one.

H
- Hair Color: Whatever the bottle says.
- Height: 5' 5"
- Happy:
- Holiday: Bastille Day
- How do you want to die: What a ridiculous question.

I
- Ice Cream: Yes
- Instrument: Flute

J
- Jewelry: I like it.
- Job: Teaching

K
- Kids:
- Kickboxing or karate: Neither
- Keep a journal?: Never good at it.

L
- Longest Car Ride: Western Wa to Homer Alaska
- Love: My family and friends and animals.
- Letter(s): ?
- Laughed so hard you cried: "The dog was loose and still is loose."
- Love at first sight: Sure.

M
- Movie: LA Confidential
- Mooned anyone?: No
- Marriage: Is all about the good story.
- Motion sickness? nope
- McD's or BK: McD's

N
- Number of Siblings: 2
- Number of Piercings: 3
- Number:

O
- Overused Phrases: Post - ????
- One phobia: Falling down stairs.

P
- Place you'd like to live: Central France
-Perfect Pizza: pineapple/ham
- Pepsi/Coke: Diet Coke/ Cherry Pepsi

Q
- Quail: Never tried it.

R
- Reason to cry: Many
- Reality T.V.: No
- Radio Station:
- Roll your tongue in a circle?: Since my grandpa taught me as a wee lass.

S
- Song: Girl in the War
- Salad: with Bleu Cheese
- Shrimp?: Why can't they clean it properly?
- Sport?: Hockey
- Skipped school: Occasionally
Slept outside: Not recently.
- Seen a dead body?: Yes.
- Shower Daily?: Mostly
- Sing well?- Define well
- Stuffed Animals?: They've all gone to the dogs.

T
- Time for bed: Ideally - 9. Realistically - 12-1.
- Thunderstorms: Love them.
- TV: Of course.
- Touch your tongue to your nose?: Nope.

U
- Unpredictable: I'd like to think so, but not really.

V
- Vegetable you hate: cooked carrots. But, I love them raw. Go figure.
- Vegetable you love: Fresh Peas
- Vacation spot: Vacation?

W
- Weakness: Chocolate
- When you grow up: I want to work somewhere else
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you?: don't know
- Who makes you laugh the most: Robert
- Worst feeling: Nausea
- Wanted to be a model: Nope.
- Worst weather: Chilly, rainy, and blustery.

X
-X-Ray: Just to prove I can swallow

Y
-Year now?: 2009
-Yellow: Can't wear it.

Z
- Zoo animal: Sharks
- Zodiac sign: Virgo

Last person who:
-Went to the movies with you: DH
- You went to the mall with: I try to avoid the mall, but I think it was CP
- Went to dinner with: DH
- Talked to on the phone: My Dad
- Made you laugh: Robert

2009-02-28T12:25:00.007-05:00

If I'd realized that it would be my 200th post, I would have put more thought into it. Anyway, for post 201, here's why I keep the DH around.

Sweetness.

On being a step-aunt...

2009-02-27T11:18:00.001-05:00

Hmmmm...really?

Conferences

2009-02-27T08:44:00.003-05:00

All this week I've had conferences with students. Next week they have a project to present. Although the assignment and it's due dates have been in the schedule since the beginning of class, we didn't go over them until last week. Since we're in a kind of time cruch, I decided not to require them to bring a draft of the project to the conference. Now, about the conferences.

I know you should not assume students know ANYTHING...even their own names, but I kind of thought pencil and paper was self explanatory. Or, that maybe when your teacher tells you how to do an assignment you might listen. Nope. Not at all. One girl got out a notebook to look at her outine, because I cannot make her understand this project requires her to read an essay, not give a speech.

All in all they are a pretty good class, but "oh the dum-dum-ativity."

Who do you trust?

2009-02-26T20:22:00.004-05:00

Almost 9 years ago a unique confluence of events put me in the DH's path. 5 months after a scintillating lunch which ended with us trying to list all the Outsider's cast members, a special event took place at the Little Chapel of Flowers.

What can I say, once upon a time the DH and I were crazy kids. By kids, I mean 26 years old.

Anyway with just Gisela, whom I am pretty sure was a transvestite, and the Reverend Alex talking about the precious metal in our under $10 wedding rings, the DH and I did our best not to giggle and went for tacos afterwards. Really. A friend of mine, who lived in Vegas, came to our wedding. She offered to take us out afterward. We ended up in this dive bar with a taco special...of course at the end of the night she realized she didn't have her wallet and she was late so we had to take a cab back to the hotel. I thought the DH would kill me.

We spent a week in Vegas with enough money to pay the $50.00 suggested minister donation and for the taxi ride from the Excalibur. Yeah, we're classy. Remind sometime to tell you about how my mom calls me "Champagne." Hostess cupcakes served as our wedding cake and only my Dad asked if I was knocked up. Everyone else was pretty taken aback. My mother said...and I quote..."I NEVER thought YOU'D get married." Thanks Mom.

For only knowing each other 5 months before (one of which I spent in Wa), we've done okay staying together this long. The deal has always been that we get to go to Haiti to get divorced. I've just been waiting until I'm old enough to cougar the cabana boys. The thought has gotten me through some pretty rough times.

Cheers.

The title of this post is from the classic movie Deep Blue Sea. If you don't count watching Orgasmo at my friend Katelyn's house than Deep Blue Sea was the first movie the DH and I watched together. All I knew was that it was a shark movie, which meant I wanted to see it. We kept rewinding the scene where Samuel L. Jackson gets eaten and laughing until we couldn't stand it. Even now, whenever it comes on, we have to watch until that scene. Tonight, in addition to a Battlestar Galactica marathon. Deep Blue Sea was on. Fitting. Some people may love Casablanca or Sleepless in Seattle, but in my mind there is nothing more romantic than L.L. Cool J saying, "You ate my bird." as he tosses a lighter.

Paying for it.

2009-02-25T10:16:00.003-05:00

I think I've written before about how much I enjoy it when I'm reading a mystery, or just pulp, novel and I find a quotation or an idea that reaches out of the genre to speak to the reader. Sometimes it happens in little ways. In Black House Stephen King and Peter Straub spend a lot of time referencing and even mirroring passages of Bleak House. I think it's great because a whole bunch of folks who would never think of reading Bleak House will go and pick it up and check it out because it was in a novel they liked. Well, I like to think that happens.

In the novel I'm currently listening to, one character goes on a long diatribe about the quotation, "Take what you want and pay for it, says God." In the book it's supposed to be some sort of Spanish proverb, but who knows.

To me it is interesting to think about life that way, not just the material things. Of course we all pay a high price for the material 'things' we have, but what if you thought of everything in this way. What is the price we pay for love, friendship, family? Too often, I think we feel owed these elements. It doesn't occur to us that there is a consequence for every relationship. We just hope that the price will not come due, nor be too high.

Here's the most important part of this idea...we do not get to decide the price. The price is set before we ever see what's in the window. Because we don't often associate love, friendship, and family with a value/price, I think we tend to take them all for granted. So, I guess my goal, it not to give anything up, but to really accept what I have...consequences and all.

Lent

2009-02-24T16:26:00.003-05:00

I'm not catholic, but I have friends who are...and, I have a Virgin Mary medallion from some chapel in France. It should have been something I thought of earlier, but I need to think about what I want to give up for Lent. I never try very hard, or succeed, but I thought this year it might be good to be mindful of my life for a month or so. I don't know maybe the near death experience is just getting to me. Suggestions?

Shrinking...

2009-02-24T10:56:00.003-05:00

There isn't too much to report. I missed the dissertation meeting this morning because I had to go to my shrink appointment.

How do you end shrink appointments?

I mean, it's not going badly, we just talk about school stuff. But, I feel like I'm through the major stuff I needed and I don't really want to get into my issues with my parents. I just don't know what to say. I guess I'll just ride out the semester and not come back. They are free anyway.

The Letters...

2009-02-23T09:12:00.003-05:00

So far, there's been no word from the White House or my Senator. I'd at least like a form letter reply from someone.

My secret dream is that someone at the WH will read my letter, want to hear more, approve of my idea, AND ask me to run the program. Of course that is like winning the lottery, but hey, I dream big. I learned it from Penelope Cruz. (Sorry for the uncalled for snark. It's early.)

Really, all my hope is placed in the Oprah book. So far I have 16 pages, which is a hell of alot more pages than anything else, it's different than it looked before, I decided on a different structure. More and more people are writing books and I figure that if they can do it, so can I. Actually, I think selling the book as a cheap pdf is a great idea. It cuts out the middle man.

Last night, I twittered for the first time. I'm Somedayphd over there as well, if you want to find me. I live-blogged the Oscars with a friend from the West Coast. I was doing alright until they played all the music. After that, I nearly fell asleep. Honestly, I had no business watching. I haven't see ANY of the films. I had no business commenting because I am not very funny. Although I love Kate Winslet and I think she's finally replace Angela Bassett on my dream list, I'm really sad Melissa Leo didn't win.

Melissa Leo has been stunning since that television show about pony express riders. I can't think of the name, but Advice Monkey knows the one. She may not tell you, though, because it would mean admitting to her one time love of Stephen Baldwin. Anyway she is a versatile and talented actress whom no one seems to really notice. Nobody talked much about her performance, but 28 grams would not have been the same without her. Last night, I was doubly sad for her. She didn't win AND she had the most awful hair. Really. It looked like something an 80 year old woman in 1967 would have done to her hair once a week. It's actually triplely sad because her hair is FABULOUS.

Okay, enough about the hair. It doesn't take away fromt the fact that Melissa Leo deserves a damn Oscar already...especially if you've already given Kate Winslet the Golden Globe. Shake it up a little bit people.

Piping down

2009-02-22T18:59:00.003-05:00

It's time for me to be quiet. Not here of course, I'll always be nice and loud here. However, lately, I think I've been too vocal around the department. Really. I've just been complaining (i.e. bitching) my little heart out.

What is happening in our department is nothing that hasn't happened before other places; and, frankly, until it happens somewhere that actually pays me a salary and allows me to vote on issues, I don't care.

There is, however, something interesting about what is happening to our department. Last year, when this particular search was conducted it was because a desperation point had been reached. There was a job to do, but no one wanted to do it anymore. So, in spite of the fact, that the people who interviewed for the job were in various ways probably not the best fit. At least one of them was willing to do the job.

The problem is that very few people really knew or understood what the job really was. The job was presented as administrative when really it was more about management. This in no way implies that there weren't necessary changes to be made, there were. But, the changes needed to be gradual and they also needed to reflect an understanding of the work already done. Obviously, that hasn't really been the case; but as I said I'm done complaining about that.

None of this sounds very interesting until you think about it historically and professionally. Much of the current problem stems from an historic inability of our department to explain what does/is/should go on in the writing classroom. It was assumed that everyone not only knew, but also agreed what should be happening in the writing classroom.

Here are two examples the first of what I was taught when I first got here and the second of what the current trend is looking like.

The writing classroom is a space in which we can use the study of rhetoric to teach students how to think critically. This approach allows students to develop their own strategies for use when they are asked to produce other forms of writing. (See my post about service course.) The problem with this idea of the purpose of a writing class is that it is not very testable. In other words, there is no way to give all the students some sort of test at the end of 15 weeks that says, "Yes! They've mastered this material."

The current trend is to quantify what goes on in the writing classroom. We may still not produce an End of Subject test, but we know we will only have x amount of reading, and y amount of writing; and we will define objectives and goals until all the courses look the same. This makes sure that everyone from fellow faculty to the university at large can look at our information and think they know what goes on in a writing classroom.

The problem with the first approach is that is difficult to explain to outsiders...really to anyone. Even more importantly it's difficult to pull off well. What that means is that when you have a course taught almost exculsively by graduate students is that sometimes the course will go badly wrong. But, usually the wrongness of it all is what we learn from...both the students and the graduate instructor. The other problem with this approach that is specific to our institution is that it became insular. The running of the Composition program went back and forth between two individuals who thought that everyone else understood what they were doing.

The problem with the second approach is that although the numbers will all look pretty, there is no real way to quantify what goes on in a Writing Class. The attempt to articulate what happens in the writing class through quantifiable evidence becomes problematic when the numbers don't add up to the need. In our situation, this is also a HUGE pendulum swing. People who didn't necessarily agree with the former methods are just as outraged by the rash of changes as those who did.

The really crappy part of it all is that since those of us most affected by the changes are graduate students we are simply seen as whining, not as offering an actual critique. People think that everything will settle down when the last of us trained in the old way leave. What they don't realize is that by then, if the pendulum hasn't swung back a little, it will be too late. The Composition Program here is moving from one that thrives and is growing, to one that will stagnate and die.

This probably really isn't very interesting to anyone else. I just think it's fascinating to see the arguments of the profession, arguments that seemed sorted out and decided, play out in front of me.

Absent Faces...

2009-02-21T10:09:00.003-05:00

Dr. Snarky and another former faculty member came into town this weekend. Last night, the Diva and I got to meet up with every for drinks. I think a great time was had by all. Dr. Snarky and I got to have a great chat about everything, including my current work paralysis. It helped me think about some of the project in new ways. I won't say it was inspirational or that I'm not still having doubts, but there is another avenue to try. Dr. Pimp was there as well. She hasn't been around the department much this semester, so it was great to see her.

It is unfathomable to me how this department could loose so many fabulous people. Well, I know what the problems are, but you think somebody would realize and fix them. That really doesn't seem to be happening.

Serious Doubt

2009-02-19T20:49:00.003-05:00

It was a windy, but beautiful day here. My PWT (protected writing time) is supposed to be t/th/s/s from 7-9am. I didn't do a very good job of protecting it today. A regional two year college conference is in town. My mentor and friend from the Community College helped to organize the conference, so I volunteered to do a little time at the registration desk. Of course, then I found out the DH had an appointment and Dr. Snarky is coming to town, which meant the only good time for me to help out was around 9 this morning.

As I listened to the other folks at the reservation desk talk about grading papers and work, I realized how much I enjoyed my time teaching at the CC. I know some of that enjoyment is colored by the fact that I only taught a 2/2 load and only did it for one year. Still...I miss it.

I spent last night reading Derrida and Levinas. Today, I worked a little then finished reading a novel and thought about everything. I know that it is de rigeur to complain about dissertation writing and I've certainly done my share of it; however, up to this point, my complaints have been of the garden variety. Today, today I really doubted my ability to do this. I cannot seem to get my idea together in my head or on paper. I don't feel like I have anything to work with and I really don't think there is a "so what" to my project. In fact, I don't think there is a project to my project and I don't know where to go from here.

I know, I know. It's natural to doubt yourself during this process. But, honestly, I'm not even in the process yet. If I could get a job at a CC somewhere I think I would take it. I would walk away right now. I know the CP would hate me forever (we're supposed to do this together). I'm just not sure I can take it.

Not Where I Should Be...

2009-02-18T11:07:00.004-05:00

Generally I do what is required of me, but today I just can't. There are too many factors at play and I just don't feel like it. It's liberating to learn it's okay not to feel like it. Don't get me wrong, if this were a life or death situation I would absolutely be there, but it's not so I'm not.

In today's New York Times there is an article about grade expectations. It's an interesting piece. It's not cutting edge journalism or anything like that, but it's nice to see the issue get some attention.

Every semester I mean to give a speech about what it takes to get an A in my class in order to underscore to the students that it probably takes more than just showing up, but I always forget. Today, I think I'll bring in that article and talk to them about what it means to get an. Maybe, I'll make them write about it. Ooooh yeah, I'm evil.

Opinion time...

2009-02-17T08:50:00.003-05:00

The following 'Open Letter to Ninth Graders" is currently circulating on a listserv I read. What do you all think?

An Open Letter to Ninth Graders

Patrick Sullivan

Preparing our students, long before they become our students.
Dear First-Year High School Students,

I am one of the co-editors of What Is "College-Level" Writing?-a
2006 collection of essays that focuses on the difference between
high school writing and college-level writing. Because of my work
on that book, I've spent a great deal of time in the last five
years thinking about what students need to make the transition from
high school to college.

Many studies and reports in recent years have argued that there's
an important "expectations gap" between the skills students
are typically bringing to college and what college teachers like me
think students should be bringing with them to college. This letter
is an attempt to state those expectations clearly, at least from my
perspective.

I offer you my advice and encouragement as you embark on your high
school career because I think there's a lot that you can do on your
own to get ready for college. A good place to start is with some
advice from Stephen Covey's book The Seven Habits of Highly
Effective People: "Begin with the end in mind." I am advising you
to set clear and specific long-term goals for yourself and then
work incrementally over a period of time to meet them. I would like
to provide you here with a number of specific goals that you can
work toward over the next four years.

Let's begin with perhaps the most fundamental of all college-
readiness skills- reading.

Reading

Reading comprehension, as measured by standardized tests like the
SAT and the ACT, is certainly an essential college-level skill.
Students in college are required to read an enormous amount of
material across a formidable range of disciplines, and college
students must be able to understand and engage with this material
thoughtfully. Reading is a foundational skill that makes success
possible in virtually all areas of your college education.

Strong reading comprehension skills, though, do not in themselves
guarantee that you are ready for college. The best college students
I've worked with over the years have had a number of other reading-
related strengths in addition to strong comprehension skills, and I
would like to briefly outline them for you here. Remember, you have
four years to work on these.

* Students who are ready for college like to read. If you don't
like to read, you are going to find college very difficult.

* Students who are ready for college have read some good books as
well as some important books while they were in high school. I'm
not suggesting that you need to follow any particular or
prescriptive reading list, like the one that literary critic E. D.
Hirsch includes, for example, in Cultural Literacy. But a high
school student who is ready for college should have some sense of
our shared intellectual and cultural history, as well as at least
some exposure to work outside the Western cultural tradition. A
high school student who is ready for college should be able to
recognize and respond in some thoughtful way to, say, a reference
in a lecture toKing Lear. Ideally, a student ready for college
would have some visceral sense of what Lear feels like as a
dramatic experience and as a point of reference in our common
heritage. The same can be said about the book of Job, Toni
Morrison's The Bluest Eye, Cervantes's Don Quixote, Willa Cather's
My Antonia, Gabriel Garcia Marquez's One Hundred Years of Solitude,
and Richard Rodriguez's Hunger of Memory, among others.

* Students who are ready for college read for pleasure. Reading is
not something that a student who is ready for college always
associates with "work," "discomfort," "inconvenience," or "pain."
Students who are ready for college enjoy reading.

Being able to enjoy reading is often the result of a long
engagement with books and the written word that cannot be replaced
by "cramming" or taking special college preparatory classes. The
students whom I have found to be most ready for college have loved
books and loved to read. If you don't love to read, you will
probably be confused and frustrated while at college. Reading is
perhaps the most paradigmatic activity of a liberal arts education.
It is where learning begins at college. You have four years to
learn to love to read.

Writing

Strong writing skills are, of course, essential to college success.
As a longtime composition instructor, I know that there are many
things that high school students can do to become strong writers.

First of all, you should expect any piece of serious writing to
require considerable effort. Students who are ready for college
routinely plan to produce multiple drafts of essays; expect to read
and reread assigned texts; expect to think and rethink key ideas
they are exploring in their essays; and routinely ask friends,
family members, tutors, and professors for feedback about their
work. High school students who are ready for college know that good
writing does not get produced without considerable effort, and they
are willing to make that effort. Most of the time they do such work
enthusiastically.

Students who are ready for college come to college interested in
learning how to become better writers. Many of the most problematic
students I've encountered in my teaching career come to college
unable or unwilling to believe that they have anything left to
learn as writers. (I've been writing seriously now for about thirty
years, and I'm still actively looking for ways to become a better
writer.) Students should come to college with the understanding
that they have a great deal to gain from listening to their
professors as they discuss and evaluate their written work. In
fact, students who are ready for college understand that this is
where much of the most important learning in college takes place.

A whole range of behavioral and attitudinal qualities are also
essential to anyone who hopes to be a successful college-level
writer. English professor Kathleen McCormick described these
qualities memorably in an online exchange among contributors to
What Is "College-Level" Writing? Commenting on an essay by Kim
Nelson-a student whose contribution to the volume described the
process of completing a college-level essay on J. R. R. Tolkien-
McCormick wrote,

Let's begin by listing many of the skills with which Kim entered
college. I think they should be divided into two types: behavior
skills and writing skills. Behavioral skills are not exclusive to
college-level writing, but without them, it is hard to achieve
anything, and they are skills that few of us articulate as
explicitly as Kim does, so I think they deserve to be underscored:

* Work through "panic" and refuse to procrastinate.
* Pace yourself to work on assignments for an extended period of
time.
* Find others to help you (parents, teachers, friends at dinner,
tutors at the writing center).
* Recognize that a critique by a professor, while initially
disheartening, is helpful.
* Initiate repeated visits to the professor.
* Value intellectual work and collaboration and validation more
than the grade.
* Brainstorm in note form.
* "Bang out" an outline and critique it.
* Choose quotations.
* Develop a thesis.
* Transfer writing skills learned in high school to the college
situation.
* Maintain sensitivity to language use.
* Reread texts you plan to write about; underline.
* Do library research.
* Listen to multiple levels of textual analysis.
* Rewrite and revise your thesis and writing.

Thinking

I would advise you to seek out classes and learning experiences
that challenge you. Research is beginning to show us that the brain
responds in very powerful and positive ways to cognitive
challenges. Don't limit yourself to subjects or activities that are
familiar or easy.

Students who are ready for college bring with them a curiosity
about ideas and an interest in encountering new ways of looking at
the world. In fact, one of the reasons they come to college in the
first place is to expand their minds, to encounter new ideas and
perspectives, and to grow. High school students who are ready for
college have genuine curiosity about the world and the people in
it. Do you?

Listening

Listening is a vastly undervalued and underappreciated skill in our
culture. Strong listening skills (and the patience and empathy that
make listening possible) will be enormously valuable to you in all
areas of your life, in college and beyond. Listening skills will
certainly help you move toward a more open and welcoming engagement
with the world and with others.

Strong listening skills also make possible healthy, positive,
respectful human relationships. Much of college success depends on
establishing strong working relationships with professors, college
staff, and fellow students. Such relationships are built, of
course, with strong listening skills. Students who are unable to
listen are typically unable to learn, for all the obvious reasons.

Good listeners bring to any interaction with others a number of
important qualities, including patience, empathy, personal
generosity, emotional intelligence, and respect for others. Good
listeners are also able to suspend an interest in themselves and
focus instead in respectful ways on what others think and feel.
Students who are ready for college have done some of the important
personal work that makes this possible. Listening is a skill, like
many others, that improves with practice, and one can become a
better listener simply by endeavoring to be one.

"Grit"
"Grit" is another quality that is vitally important for college
readiness. Researchers who use this term suggest that it includes
self-discipline, perseverance, and passion. As psychologists Angela
Duckworth and Martin Seligman note in their recent essay "Self-
Discipline Outdoes IQ in Predicting Academic Performance of
Adolescents," grit appears to be at least as important to academic
success as IQ or "smarts." In fact, all high school students should
hear what Duckworth and Seligman have to say about self-discipline:

Underachievement among American youth is often blamed on inadequate
teachers, boring textbooks, and large class sizes. We suggest
another reason for students falling short of their intellectual
potential: their failure to exercise self-discipline. . . . We
believe that many of America's children have trouble making choices
that require them to sacrifice short-term pleasure for long-term
gain, and that programs that build self-discipline may be the royal
road to building academic achievement.

Any student is capable of bringing a quality of joyfulness to their
work at college, and the same can be said for the qualities of
selfdiscipline, perseverance, and passion. Without these qualities,
students can only be considered ready to be bored, lost, angry, or
confused at college.

Attitude Toward College

Drinking, socializing, and taking reckless advantage of "freedom"
on campus lead many students to squander their time at college.
I've seen many young men and women trapped in a protracted
adolescence that often lasts well into their late teens, early
twenties, and beyond. As teachers, we want students to have a
youthful spirit (however old they may be), but we also want them to
bring maturity to the college enterprise.

Some students, usually as a result of difficult life experience,
arrive at college with such maturity. But many do not. In my
experience, mature students are often able to engage with college
in very productive ways. Those who do not bring such maturity,
however, typically cannot. Such students often find themselves
confused or angry or without any real direction.

You also need to understand that the chance to attend college is an
opportunity of incalculable value. Because many students take this
opportunity for granted, I recommend that community service be a
required part of every high school student's preparation for
college. Community service is an excellent way for you to begin
building a balanced and mature perspective on life. Such a
perspective will be invaluable to you when you attend college.

Determining Readiness

I have developed a checklist of the college-readiness skills
described in this article. You can use this practical document to
track your progress in high school and ensure that you are ready
for college by the time you graduate. Visit http://www.aaup.org/
AAUP/pubsres/academe/ to view and print the checklist.

Remember: you have four years to develop the skills that you will
need to succeed in college.

Watch Lists

2009-02-17T08:16:00.003-05:00

I think I made it on a few of them today. You can help me see how long it takes to get a response. Today, I sent the following letter to the White House and to one of my Senators. (I almost put a name. That would have given you a general location!)

Here's the letter:

17 February 2008

Dear Mr. President, or whom this may concern,

When speaking of education in the country the immediate needs and concerns of the K-12 system often overshadow the needs of the University system. The need to get children ready for, and interested in, going to College, outweighs the need of the students who’ve chosen to remain in College to further their education. As a graduate student, I’ve watched my ability to get grants diminish and my reliance on student loans swell.

As I work toward earning my PhD in Rhetoric and Composition, I watch the job market around me shrivel. More and more Universities rely on adjunct faculty, people who will work for a certain number of credit hours rather than a salary and benefits. Hiring adjuncts is cheaper for the University because they can use them as needed and not be required to maintain a tenure track line in their budget. From personal experience, I can see that when I graduate I am more than likely to spend a few years as an adjunct before I can find a full time position.

The problem is that an adjunct’s pay rate is usually quite low. A recent article in the LA Times about Dr. Biden stated her salary was, “$900 to $1,227 per credit hour. (That means each semester her pay could be from $9,000 to $12,270.)” Dr. Biden works at a Community College, but University rates are not much better. If you look at what Dr. Biden could make for a year of teaching, it’s about $24,540, before taxes. If I made that amount, and I will not make much more, I would have to pay my rent, own health insurance, bills, and a student loan bill, which would be nearly impossible.

University and Community College budgets must feel the squeeze of these hard economic times, but they will also see an influx in students, require more and cheaper faculty. They will not increase more expensive and long term full-time positions. They will increase their adjunct faculty. In the English department this has happened time and time again. (If you are interested read Eileen Schell’s Gypsy Academics and Mother Teachers.) I propose a plan to help Universities and Community Colleges save money and help graduate students relieve their student loan dept.

Universities and Community Colleges around the country could enroll for a specialized adjunct work force of recently graduated graduate students. These students would work full time for adjunct pay for a period of years. By agreeing to teach wherever they are assigned for a certain amount of years they will be relieved of a certain amount of their student loan debt. This kind of program would help prevent the glut of the Humanities job market and encourage others in nursing or science programs to teach for a while.

While I have other more specific ideas about implementing such a program, I won’t share them until asked. Thank you for taking the time to read through my proposal.

Respectfully,

Of course, I tweaked it all a little bit for my senator, but not much. Since it was an email, I also signed my own name, but that is strictly a need to know basis.

Academic Freedom

2009-02-16T10:05:00.004-05:00

Once again Stanley Fish has managed to create a maelstrom among academics. Apparently last week he wrote about a case of a professor, Dan Rancourt, fired for giving his students 'As' on the first day and turning his physics course into something much more political. Rancourt describes this as 'academic squatting' - taking a course that already exists and turning it into something else.

This week Fish responds to some of the comments from last week. He attempts to reiterate his position on Academic Freedom. In short Fish thinks that professors should do the job they were hired to do and not hide behind "Academic Freedom" if they are not doing the job they were hired to do. It doesn't really sound so bad, particularly when Fish uses extreme activist teachers like Rancourt as an example. However, this week he also claims, by quoting and supporting a commenter, that professors use Academic Freedom as an excuse to arrive late or not engage in academic rigor.

Fish goes on to say:
So these are the two conceptions of academic freedom that are in play: academic freedom as the freedom to do the academic job (understood by reference to university norms and requirements); and academic freedom as the freedom to chart your own way, to go boldly where no man or woman has gone before, constrained only by your inner sense of what is right and true.

Honestly, I've never met anyone, even activist teacher's, who took this as a stance within the University. This is where Fish goes wrong. He ignores the need to define the "academic job" and secondly he paints the alternative as broadly absurd. The problem demonstrates itself in the reponses to Fish's two articles. The responses tend to engage with either one or the other option without questioning what is behind either.

As for Rancourt and others, I don't believe the just suddenly became "radical." A very, very brief Google search turned up Rancourt's University of Ottowa home page, which descibes him his commitment to activism. Whatever, the true issue is, it seems like the University of Ottowa knew what it was getting when it hired Rancourt and/or gave him tenure.

If you are interested I've included a link to Rancourts blog on the right. He is the "Activist Teacher."

Graphophobia

2009-02-14T20:04:00.003-05:00

My life has never followed a "traditional" direction, to say the least. The year after I got married we moved in with my in-laws. During that year, my mother decided to move back to MN. While I understand her discomfort staying at my in-laws, I don't necessarily agree with her decision to stay up north with my aunt. There are no jobs where we are from. None. There hasn't been for years. If she would have stayed a little longer in the Cities with us, I think she could have found something good. Who will ever know.

A few months after she got settle into life in the hinterland, the DH and I went up to see her new trailer. Honest to God, a double-wide in a trailer park. My other Aunt lived next door. I really cannot make this stuff up. Anyway, while we were there one of my cousins came to visit. She brought her 4 kids. Her oldest is a girl and the others are boys, at the time I think they were around 6 and 8.

My cousin, my mother, and I sat around her kitchen table catching up. The kids were all pretty wound up and loud. You know how a trailer full of kids can sound. All of a sudden we heard a huge crashing noise. We hurried into the living room. The DH was sitting on a love seat, pointing at the kid, saying "He came at me with a pencil."

The kid...I mean the six year old was lying on his back, legs in the air like a stink bug on top of the remains of a plastic coffee table. Do you remember the ones you could put together like legos? Like that. The DH had apparently grabbed him and body slammed him into the coffee table in self-defense. Sure, the DH is small, but it's kind of hard to imagine him being impaled by a six year old with a mechanical pencil.

Being the concerned relatives that we are, I think all three of us doubled over in laughter as the DH tried to explain how the six year old terrorized him with the pencil before coming at him with it raised like the knife in Psycho. The DH loves to tell the story to defend himself. I still nearly pee my pants just thinking about it.

2009-02-14T12:24:00.002-05:00

I wish The Thing didn't try to show you the monster.

Being a Redneck...

2009-02-13T16:12:00.003-05:00

Not having kids means I don't really qualify as a Redneck Mommy. But, since I want to share in the electric moment, I will blog about being a Redneck Daughter. Growing up so close to small town Canada means it counts. If you look closely you'll see that Fort Francis is really in Canada. I bet The Redneck Mommy doesn't even know about Fort Francis. It was about 7 blocks from my house.

You know you've grown-up a redneck when:

Your imaginary childhood friend was Fonzie. Don't worry, according to my mom I always made him wait outside when I went to the bathroom. It explains so much.
You went out trick or treating on Halloween and came home with a kitten in your bag.
When you were about six your mom thought was a good idea (and in no way racist) to put brown eyeshadow all over your face and a diaper on your head so you could be Aunt Jemima. Seriously, I still can't believe it.
When you visit your redneck relatives they make your husband bury a dead rabbit. The rabbit was killed by all the mosquitos.
When there are more pictures of you naked in a sink than anything else.
There are pictures of you about 3 years old riding on your dad's motorcycle and other pictures of you riding a huge fish.

There are plenty more where those came from, but they probably deserve their own posts. Mostly, I just hope that should I ever have kids, or adopt them, that I have the wisdom, sense of humor, sorry humour, and courage to be a Redneck Mommy.

The Road to Hell

2009-02-12T11:43:00.003-05:00

First things first...you try confining a puppy for 10 days. Yeah. It's only day one and I am going insane.

Secondly, I just sent a brief email to the Department of Education. I am not sure that was the appropriate place to address my concern, but it is a place to start.

I think we need a "Teach for America" type student loan forgiveness program for university faculty. Colleges and Universities could sign up for the program and graduate students would agree to teach somewhere as an adjunct for so many years. The Colleges and Universities would save money by not hiring full-time employees (I know that could be bad. Maybe there could be some deal about the replacement hiring having to be tenure-track.) We could have our student loans cut back or forgive AND in the process the money we would have given student loans would go back into the community through grocery shopping, etc.

Really, I think it is a brilliant plan. Since the government/bank has already loaned the money, it has already spent that money and wouldn't really be losing anything. Hmm...I'm sure there is some capitalistic reason not to do it.

Healing...

2009-02-11T10:29:00.004-05:00

Moshe's cast came off yesterday. We had to take him back to the vet today for some xrays. They were also concerned that he was not using his leg properly because of nerve damage.

He seems to be using his leg fine now, so I think it was just a matter of not knowing what to do with it. For most the last three weeks of his 12 week existence he's had a cast that was longer than the rest of his legs and weighed as much as he did. It makes sense that it might take a while to get used to not having it.

He's pretty funny limping around, and pretty quick. Watching him randomly stretch his leg straight back or tentatively put it on the ground, makes me think back to my first days learning how to walk again and my first days at home. When I go up and down the stairs now, I forget how hard it was for me at the beginning. All my movements seem normal again, but I remember that first day home and how hard it was to slide across the bed or get up from the couch. Because I didn't need it for that long, sometimes I forget how much I really did need the cane.

I didn't really expect it to happen, but in many ways I've already begun to take my recovery for granted. Even the shower chair in the bathroom just looks like another spot to hang towels or store reading materials.

Grindstone...

2009-02-10T08:54:00.003-05:00

I've been blogging everyday, well, I took a couple of days off here and there since November. It's been really good for me...maybe, a little too self indulgent for all of you. However, I've noticed a marked difference in my writing both here and when I try to work on the diss.

Generally, I tend not to think of this space as really writing. Since I know most of you who read, I'm comfortable publishing stuff that would normally get a second or third look before everyone saw them. More and more often, the quality of the first draft is changing. It's still not great, just different.

Wait, writing everyday is good for you?! This should not be news to a Compositionist, but, frankly, I've always been a little bit more do as I say, not as I do. It's about time I did as I say. Transfering this writing space, where even when I've nothing to write about I can write, to my diss is still something to work out.

Since we tend to, or need to, think of writing as a romantic act and MUST protect our genius I cannot bring myself to share my diss here. But, maybe I can still use your help. I'm struggling with the "so what" factor. It's pretty typical of my ideas and writing. I'm great at pointing out ideas, no so great with the "What makes them important" element.

So, here's the broad, weird question. Why do we need to understand more fully the relationships between individuals and institutions? What can currently help us to do that?

Wading vs. Jumping

2009-02-09T09:26:00.003-05:00

For the most part I spent the last three months anxiously awaiting the new semester. There was that brief "between the holiday" period, but we don't talk about it anymore.

Anyway, although when I think about my progress I'm amazed, I still say I was ready to go back when I left the hosptial. I couldn't do everything and it would have been rough, but I was ready to teach. I'm still ready to teach. However, this process has been more like jumping in that wading. Sure, I'm only teaching one course this semester, but I"m also interning in a course and trying to write an article and a dissertation.

Instead of just being on campus MWF. I am on campus every day. There is always an appointment or meeting or some other such nonsense and that wears me out. My class turned in essays on Friday. Essays I should have graded this weekend, but I didn't. I didn't do anything this weekend because I needed to just sit.

I know I'll get used to the schedule again, but until then. I am officially tired of being tired.

Respit

2009-02-08T08:57:00.003-05:00

The couple of days off were nice. Friday I actually worked on the prospectus, so I didn't really feel like facing another blank square.
Yesterday, I took the day of from everything. My BSG peeps came over and that was all I did.

Unfortunately, it means I have a lot to do today. My class turned in papers on Friday. Since there are only 12 of them and they are only two pages, I have no excuse not to get them back by Monday. I also promised to write a response for the class in which I intern. They didn't really know I'd be reading all their stuff, so I said I'd let them read mine. It's actually pretty nerve-wrecking.

I guess I'd better get to it.

Fear of change

2009-02-05T10:52:00.003-05:00

It's not that I am overly tired or anything like that, but I have had to be on campus EVERYDAY for the last couple of weeks. It doesn't seem like it's going to end anytime soon.

Initially, my big concern about returning back to school was my stamina. It hasn't affected me at all. It's just that being on campus right now feels like an imposition. It puts me out. That is certainly not the mind-set I need to have, but it's there for now.

This week and last week I've participated in taking various candidates out to lunch. On the way to lunch last week, I realized that all of it makes absolutely no difference to me. Sure, I'll see these people in the hall next year, but other than that - they will make no difference in my life.

There is one professor, who seems super nice and is always very friendly to me, but I don't like her because she is in Dr. Snarky's office. How stupid is that? I know it's stupid, but I cannot help myself.

Charlie...you're hurting me

2009-02-04T21:24:00.002-05:00

Okay, this kid is not as good as Charlie's older brother, but I love this video. The poor little guy just cracks me up. I think this is was grad school feels like all of the time.

Survery says...

2009-02-04T12:33:00.003-05:00

Do I want EndNote? I've been contemplating this for over a year. As I really starte getting into this article/dissertaion, I think that if I want to start using it, I should do it now. I'm just not sure if it is worth it. Anyone out there have any thoughts?

Understanding our courses...

2009-02-04T11:36:00.003-05:00

Today at the book fair a first year TA said, "Do we have a critical thinking course?" Without even a pause I said, "Yeah, 101 & 102." There was a round of tittering from other first-year students. I found myself giving a much condensed version of last night's rant. Really, of all the changes being made...it should be ensured that everyone teaching 101 & 102 knows they should have a critical thinking component. Grr. Arrgh.

Professional Disagreement

2009-02-03T19:08:00.003-05:00

In order to avoid working on my prospectus, I’ve spent some time perusing other blogs or incessantly checking my Facebook page. Since she is now working in a new setting a friend (Italian at Heart)started a new blog about her teaching. I understand her joy at being in a new department, but I want to point out something.

In her blog the IaH mentioned that at her new school composition is clearly labeled as, and clearly understood to be, a service course. She also said that everyone here at her old school “was so caught up in making sure tat the course wasn’t designated ‘service,’ they really lost focus that it WAS A SERVICE COURSE!”

The IaH used to teach at the junior high level. Her experience with the requirements made of teachers and students at that level would make teaching writing seem like a service course. I mean that when the goal of a course is meeting certain benchmarks any course becomes a service course.

However, at the University teaching writing (composition) carries both a different function and a different history. The failure of this department does not lie in the desire to make sure that composition is not a service course, but the failure of the department to really explain why composition should not be seen as a service course.

There are several reasons for not thinking of composition as a service course, which I have to note does not mean that grammar or writing basics are ignored. The easiest place for me to start is to ask you to step back for a moment and imagine a general education course in mathematics. No one would expect that if you took Math 101 you were ready for Accounting 201 or Chemistry 320. Why is that? Well, because while both Accounting and Chemistry require math, they require different types of math. Math 101 just cannot do it all, which is why Accounting and Chemistry have their own beginning courses.

Since writing is such an integral part of so many disciplines it becomes easy for the history professor to say, “I can’t believe these kids can’t write. What do they learn in Composition?” In that moment the History professor forgets that History as a discipline actually asks students to write in a very different way from English. The DH and I cannot read each others papers because the way our disciplines (History & English respectively) use verbs and voice is so vastly different. I tell him to take out all the passive voice and he tells me to put it back in. The same is true of the writing in Chemistry, Dance, Theatre, etc. It boils down to the same problem as the fictional Math 101. Composition cannot teach every kind of writing.

So, what does composition teach?

Well, I believe that composition should teach critical thinking. I don’t teach my student about the rhetorical triangle in a vacuum. I teach them about the rhetorical triangle because it is a tool for them to use when reading anything – Math, History, Dance, and more importantly the assignments they receive in those courses. When they leave my composition class, they are not ready to write in any discipline; however, they are, hopefully, ready to read and understand any discipline.

Isn’t that a service to other disciplines? Why does labeling composition as a service course matter?

As I have explained there is the perception among other disciplines that if there is a section of the University teaching writing, then it is no longer their responsibility to teach the writing that is important to their field.

The history of Composition and its place within the University are an element of this discussion as well. If you are really interested in this topic you should check out the work of Eileen Schell, Nell Noddings, Gary A. Olson and Susan Miller. Historically, Composition has functioned as an underling to “English” which stood for Literature. Historically, Composition has been taught by women and graduate students. These are groups who would do such intensive work to free-up the tenured faculty to teach courses in their specialty and/or research; they would also do the work at a much cheaper rate. Keeping women in these “service” courses was one way to allow women into the academy, but not allow them to participate fully in all of its functions.

As Kenneth Burke taught us, we view the world through terministic screens. The language we use to build those screens matters. When we label one particular course subservient to others, it keeps the people who teach those courses also subservient. The movement to recognize Composition as a field was a movement to remove that subservient status. When we continue to think of Composition as a service course it is a disservice to all of those who worked long and hard to make sure that what we do in the classroom matters as much as anyone else in the field of English.

Advice....

2009-02-03T09:54:00.004-05:00

Subscribing to a professional list-serve has often been a pain, but I'm too lazy to figure out how to unsubscribe and everyone once in a blue moon there is something interesting on there. Yesterday, someone asked people on the list if there were any job letter errors that would ensure an applicant didn't get an interview. Since I hope to go "on the market" next year, I thought this would be a good thread to follow.

Unfortunately, so far...and I'll admit I haven't waded through all the responses, the majority of advice has not been about errors but about tailoring your job letter. If a letter is too generic or boilerplate they either don't read it all or can't figure out why the candidate might be good for the position. Now, this is good advice, I'm not trying to advocate for rote letters. It's just the advice that is always given...at least around here. I'm well steeped in why I need to make the job letter count -- why I need to make sure it tells the committee why I fit their job. That's not exactly the advice that I need.

I know not all departments are like mine, but I do have to day that in spite of all my recent complaints, they do a good job of making us "marketable." I know they want us to get jobs to keep up their placement rates, but I think there is a genuine desire to help us figure out what it is that makes a position work for us. That is important, as one respondent pointed out,

"When graduate students have flubbed, it's often because their letter entirely unexceptional -- I can't see any reason to interview them over the other 30 ABDs in the pile. (And, FWIW, I think this was me when I came out of grad school!). At that point in your career, I think it's often tough to see what distinguishes you from your peers.
And yet, looking back, I can now see what defined me at that stage in my career -- and it's clearly what got me my first job. So it may help to talk with mentors and friends about what makes you "you," professionally speaking."

My letter may end up entirely unexceptional, but I think it will be for other reasons. Our faculty, at least the ones I work with, do a good job of helping us figure out 'what makes us, 'us' Unfortunately, I think part of that process happens now, where I am, while writing the dissertation. A lot of my problem is that I don't necessarily know who I am professionally. Partly, that is because I have many different interests. Writing the dissertation forces me to choose to priviledge one of those interests over another. It's not something I've ever been good at. There is one piece of advice I saw on the list which made me nervous. One person wrote about the candidate that tries to represent too broad of a field. I think that if I were start writing letters now, that would be an issue for me. My areas of interest are broad. My skills are broad. My experience is broad. When I apply for a job, I hope to bring all of those things to bear. Hopefully, I can find a way to demonstrate that without appearing vague, or unfocused.

Irritation?

2009-02-02T20:22:00.003-05:00

You know, when hiring/firing people I often find it best to just give them a schedule to let them know they've been hired. Certainly they wouldn't want to know they've been hired before they get a schedule.

At the watercooler...

2009-02-02T11:35:00.004-05:00

Well, we don't really have a water-cooler, but my office will do.

Since my job was "simplified" late last semester, I've maintained a pretty low profile around the department. Once before the semester started I stopped by to say hello to the new DC. The other day, I commented that I hadn't seen her and I needed to stop by again so she knew I wasn't avoiding her.

Here's the deal - She is avoiding me. Really. She just walked through my office, which isn't supposed to be a pass through, looking for someone. Granted, she could have been in a hurry, but she barely even stopped to say hello. She didn't even give a reason for being in a hurrry.

Whatever.

I am not really upset by this. It's just intriguing that she doesn't seem to want to see me. Maybe she sense that their move was wrong, whatever its motivation.

It's Dr. if you're nasty

2009-02-02T07:35:00.004-05:00

It's not exactly a great start to the day. At least for once I didn't wake up at 7:30am, the problem is I woke up at 5:15am. I took the puppy out and tried to get back to sleep for about 40 minutes before giving up to go make some coffee and oatmeal.

Then I opened the email and this article from the LA Times came through. In case you can't get to it. The article is about how "pompous" it is for Jill Biden to expect to be called Dr. Biden when she only has a PhD in Education. I understand it's historic for a second lady to keep her day job, but if you really want to get all worked up about that then really talk about it.

Don't just thrown in as an aside the paragraph about how little she'll make as an adjunct faculty member.

McClellan declined to say exactly how much Biden would earn, but said she was teaching 10 hours a week and that the range of pay for her adjunct position was $900 to $1,227 per credit hour. (That means each semester her pay could be from $9,000 to $12,270.)

Point out the fact that this "not that much amount" is what most adjunct family members LIVE ON. Or maybe that she is making that much IN SPITE of the fact that she got her PhD, IN SPITE of the fact that she has 20 years of experience.

Or, maybe we should talk about the fact that she chose to work at a community college and what that means for everyone involved. Jim McClellan, the Dean of Humanities and Social Sciences at Northern Virginia Community College, (notice how unlike in the article I showed respect for his position by capitalizing his title --you, know like you should for anyone) said,

"She could have done anything with her time and make a difference, but she chose to teach, and teach at a community college. That says to our students that they are important and that community colleges are an important piece of the American educational system."

The article doesn't pay much attention to what McClellan says, but I like that he equates teaching with a way to make a difference. Dr. Biden did her time in school, took the exams, wrote the dissertation all of it. She deserves her title. Notice how the article includes the title of Lynne Cheney's dissertation, but not Dr. Biden's.

Don't even get me started on how undervalued the Community College system is in this country. It's a personal soap box.

Sunday Thoughts....

2009-02-01T18:49:00.003-05:00

I like going to the library with a list in hand.
I do not like doing research in the library.
I think the guy at the coffee shop was intrigued that a girl could carry so many books.
I also think that he shouldn't read "chicken soup" books in public. "Really who does?"
Maybe he was just bothered because my library books were a little more intense than the Chicken soup stuff.
I knew there was a reason I like to buy Washington State wines.
The corkscrew broke. But I'm no Long Islander - it wasn't my fault.
My ear finally cleared. Yeah!
It really sucked not to be able to hear out of my left ear.

Is it really done?

2009-01-31T10:51:00.003-05:00

It's been a long, exhausting week here on the West Bank. All I can say is that at least Moshe hasn't started building a wall. There is no room here for ghettos. There is no peace yet, but I think there is a mutual cease fire.

Honestly, I cannot explain what exhausted me this week. Nothing much has really happened. I had a couple of extra trips to the health center, but nothing important. Maybe it's just that I haven't had a decent night's sleep since the Saturday before last. Underdeveloped puppy bladders suck. I'm sure the DH has it worse because at 2:00am, I just wake him up and make him trek down the stairs to take the puppy out. Yes, I'm evil like that. I firmly believe it is one of my wifely duties.

At the coffee shop this morning I made good progress on my article. I have some ideas that I think will be interesting. I'm just not sure how it all still has to do with hospitality. I'll figure that out. Don't forget, I'm a rhetorician, I can make it all sound good even if it makes no sense. Well, that is not really true, but good sources help. One of my editors suggested...doesn't that sound cool, I have editors, anyway he suggested I look at Kathleen Jamieson's work. It's really perfect for what I want to write. Woo Hoo!

Did this week wear anyone else out?

stuck in the middle

2009-01-29T13:31:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago I received a letter from the hospital. It asked me to contact my insurance company because it had not responded to the hospital's claim. I didn't get around to it right away and two days later I received a card in the mail from the insurance company saying that they knew there was a claim and not to contact them. So, I left all alone.

Then, yesterday, I received another letter from the hospital asking me to contact my insurance company. So, I called the number on the letter to tell them the insurance company told me not to contact them. I talk to an exceptionally rude woman who treated me like I told the insurance company not to pay. She said, "Well, it's been since October and they haven't paid."
As politely as I could I got off the phone, but now I'm really pissed. The hospital has an entire office of people whose JOB is to deal with insurance companies. It's not my job! Seriously, people. What if I had died would they hound the DH like this?

On Feminism....

2009-01-28T12:15:00.003-05:00

Reading about Bill Clinton's 1991 presidential campaign has be reliving my youth...or, well, rethinking it.

Once I asked my mom when/why she thought I became a feminist. The easy answer was when I did a research paper about it my sophomore year. My mom doesn't usually go with the easy answer. She, like so many other women, equated feminism with the desire to work outside of the home. Her answer was that since she and her mother and many of the other women in my life worked I'd grown up around feminism. It's true. My mother has worked outside of the home ever since I can remember. In fact for a while she was my grandmother's boss -- weird, huh. There were, however, other influences in my life. My favorite Aunt and my paternal grandmother both stayed at home. My aunt had 4 daughters to raise...well, 5 if you count me. I guess since my own mother was always working outside of the home (because we were poor and she had to) I internalized that choice. It didn't ever occur to me that working outside of the home was a choice...or a part of a political stance.

After we moved out west and my mother went back to school, she would have her friends over to study. Whether she or I realize it or not that experience instilled in me the value of education. I saw all of those women stuggle, graduate, and get "decent" office jobs. Hey, when your only work experience was cleaning houseboats an office job looks like a big step forward. Once my mom got her job in the office at the college, she'd talk about and bring over her friends from work. One woman in particular made an impression on me. Christine really was a feminist and, next to my own mother, my first influence. She went out with her husband to buy a car (this was in the 80's) and puposefully paid more because she bought the car at the lot where the salesman talked to her instead of her husband. This was going to be HER car afterall. When I was younger I thought that was the coolest story and that was exactly what feminism meant for me.

As I said I did a research report about feminism my sophomore year of high school. All I really remember is that I did an interview, which I'm sure was full of lame questions and that every other person in the class did stuff like gun control and legalizing prostitution. It wasn't until my senior year, when in a moment of procrastination, I used that research paper again. I reworked it to fullfil an assignment. Once I'd turned the paper in, I didn't think about it again...until, the teacher made me read it outloud. Seriously. For the rest of the year he would ask me what I thought of stuff, as if my opinion were somehow different because I'd said in a paper I was a feminist.

Needless to say that experience turned me off for a little while, well that experience and then the Clinton campaign. I remember how hard it was to be young and idealistic when feminists were getting such poor treatment in the press and media. I also had a hard time reconcilling my own love for the men in my life with an understanding about their sexism. It wasn't until I came back to graduate school that I learned to say simply, "I am a feminist" without providing some sort of caveat.

It would have been just as easy for me to absorb the "stay at home" narrative, but I think my mother's independance and respect for learning was much more of an influence on my than I give it credit for. Growing up poor wasn't always easy, but it instilled values that I sometimes forget and take for granted.

Working?

2009-01-28T10:08:00.003-05:00

There's no excuse for not working right now. Really. I'm at school. I have all my books, etc. Actually, I really like the book I'm reading right now. I'm glad my editor recommended Kathleen Jamieson.

The problem is I know I'm going to be here all day. I've become jaded and spoiled. Normally, I show up to campus for my office hours and class. That's it. This week I have to be here everyday. Today, today I have to be here until at least 4:30pm. Grr. Arrgh. At least I'll eventually be so bored that I have to work. How do people manage an 8 hour day?

Because I'm a Sexist Feminist....

2009-01-27T15:41:00.003-05:00

It's true. A student wrote that on an official evaluation. Luckily I wasn't teaching a course in Feminist Theory, because then I would have really failed.

As I sat in bed watching Juno, I was still bothered by Bleeker's lack of involvement in the whole situation. Then the DH came home laid down on the bed and said of Jason Bateman. "He's really gross in this movie." I said, "Yes he is" before I realized we were commenting on two completely different aspects of the film.

The DH thinks Mark is gross for hitting on Juno and, possibly, for abandoning his wife. We agree about that. However, as I listened to Vanessa tell Mark about his "stupid" shirt, I realized this was another aspect of Mark that was gross. Somewhere in the back of his mind he thinks he still might end up Kurt Cobain - before the suicide; and/or they are upset because they thought they'd die before they were 27 - either way, he is tied to his rock star fantasies.

The shirt is stupid, not because Vanessa doesn't like the band, but because it demonstrates the way Mark is fixated on his past. In the film it is easy to see how Vanessa is fixated and demaning. The house is a shrine to it. It's easy not to see,until it is too late, how tenaciously Mark is clinging to something else. I just want to point out that Vanessa's critique of Mark is a valid one. It's as valid as the critique the film makes of Vanessa; and, it's every bit as "gross" as Mark trying to kiss Juno. However, I think there are a lot of men and women who don't sympathize with Vanessa's position. Heck, the film doesn't even sympathize with her. Just think for a minute of what you remember of Vanessa. It makes fun of her. It is a comedy after all.

There is no one perfect way to "grow - up." In many ways Vanessa is just as wrong as Mark, but by portraying Mark as this cool guy the film is sympathetic to him. It lulls us into forgetting that in reality we should all be able to grow and change.

FYI

2009-01-26T20:16:00.001-05:00

I really don't believe that you didn't check your email or blackboard until 7:00pm on a school day.

Good News...

2009-01-26T13:06:00.002-05:00

I just got a call from the neurologist. The MRI looked good. The disection has healed, which means...I get to come off the rat poison and start taking 325mg of aspirin. Woo Hoo!

Karma

2009-01-26T11:21:00.006-05:00

As you probably know, we have an interesting history with animals. Yasser had to have hip surgery on his left leg before his was year old. Malenovka has a chronic respiratory infection and sneezes everywhere. Cat boogers do not come off the wall easily.

What you probably don't know is that last week we did something really, really stupid. We got a puppy.
Isn't he the cutest thing ever?

His name is Moshe. It's a nice Israeli name. We figured it was appropriate. We thought we'd try to make a little peace here on the West Bank. We didn't tell anyone at first because it's that stupid.

Do you think you know where this story is going?
Last night the DH came home from work and took the dogs out to go to the bathroom. On his way back up Yasser tripped him and the puppy jumped from his arms. Moshe now looks like this

Yeah. He broke his leg. We spent most of last night at the emergency vet. Can you see the cast/band that wraps around his belly? They told us we'd might have to move it around so it didn't block his little penis. Well it did block it and we had to hold it back and cut it so that he could pee. We'll have the regular vet fix it today. His poor little penis was all bloated with pee. It was terrible. For now, we're just trying to keep him as immobile as possible. They said it should heal in about 4 weeks.